I am Really a Superstar

The dance ended.

The audience was left wanting more.

This was a dance that would make people want to watch it a second time even after they had just watched it.

On television, the hosts retook the stage.

The male host commented, “That was so amazing!”

The female host said, “That’s right. Thank you to the ladies from the Air Force Song and Dance Troupe for their wonderful performance.”

Applause from the audience sounded once more.

It was followed by some advertisement messages.

The female host said, “Dear friends, we have prepared for everyone tonight the five cards of fortune that represent our deepest and sincerest blessings to you. These five fortunes are the prosperity and strength card, the harmony card, the friendship card, the patriotism card, and the work dedication card. So now, please take out your cell phones and open up the Unipay app, then tap on the ‘Check It Out’ button. Then a card will be deposited into your account!”

The male host added, “In particular, we would like to remind you that before midnight tonight, if you can gather all five cards of fortune, you will get a share of the five fortunes prize pool. As they say, the five fortunes have arrived, so what are you waiting for? Hurry up and start ‘checking it out!\'”

…

Online.

The netizens were getting excited.

“Has it started yet?”

“Can we start checking it out now?”

“Damn, hurry up and give out the cards already!”

“Where’s my work dedication card!”

“It’s ending right before midnight? Hurry, hurry, hurry!”

…

In a household.

“I didn’t get it!”

“Damn, it’s another prosperity and strength card!”

“Prosperity and strength card, get lost!”

“What a scam!”

“I’m not getting any of the work dedication cards. Why is it always the prosperity and strength card?!”

…

“Dad, quickly check it out!”

“Ah?”

“The Spring Festival Gala has started to give out the cards of fortune!”

“Alright, I’m definitely going to get a work dedication card for my darling daughter today!”

“Everyone needs only that card!”

…

“Heavens!”

“It’s the work dedication card!”

“You got it? Show me!”

“What the heck, it’s true!”

“I’m rich! Rich!”

“They’ve really given out the work dedication card!”

“Ahhh, I’m gonna post the screenshot online!”

…

Very quickly, the viewers were occupied.

This was the moment they had been waiting so long for.

In fact, many of those who didn’t used to watch the Spring Festival Gala were now sitting before their televisions and waiting. It was because of this deceptive Five Cards of Fortune Collection campaign that they were watching it. They initially had no intentions of watching the Spring Festival Gala at all and had no expectations for it either. But unexpectedly, after two or three dance and song performances, many of them became interested and actually started watching it seriously.

These viewers who didn’t used to ever watch the Spring Festival Gala were converted just like that.

Grabbing red packets for the cards of fortune.

Watching the Spring Festival Gala.

Countless families were happily experiencing the joys of the new year.

And this joy could not be fulfilled with just those few song and dance acts.

“It should be time for the language acts, right?

“By past convention, it should be.”

“This won’t be easy to handle.”

“Yeah, the crosstalks and skits have in recent years been getting more and more unfunny.”

“They’re not exactly unfunny. They’re just too ordinary and disconnected from the common clay. The performances are too traditional, which is why it doesn’t feel fun to watch.”

“Let’s see how it’ll be this year.”

“This year’s song and dance acts are pretty good.”

“Yeah, they’re amazing!”

“I’m just worried that the language acts would not live up to the expectations of the occasion.”

“Yeah, the most talked about acts are still the crosstalks and skits.”

“Zhang Ye himself is a crosstalk comedian, and he’s also acted in a skit before. This might just be worth looking forward to.”

“Hey!”

“It’s starting, it’s starting!”

Instantly, the world’s Chinese population refocused their attention on the television. The song and dance act this year had amazed many people. But for the most anticipated language acts, no one had seen them yet. So they were trembling with excitement as they wanted to know how it would turn out.

…

In the production control room.

Zhang Ye issued the orders.

“It’s starting.”

“Camera 3, follow!”

“Cut to Camera 4!”

“Alright, close-up!”

It was time for the first language act!

Zhang Ye naturally understood the importance of this more than anyone else. Zhang Ye carefully thought over the arrangement of acts for a long time. Which would be the first to go? It was not an easy decision. It wasn’t until after the second dress rehearsal that he finally decided on the order and pushed for this skit to be the first one to be shown. This was the most popular skit from the 2013 Central TV Spring Festival Gala in his previous world. Zhang Ye was hoping for this skit to help get the language acts off on the right foot.

He was not worried about the performers.

They were veterans of the Spring Festival Gala, so they would definitely rise to the occasion. There wouldn’t be any problems there.

…

On the stage.

The hosts were still talking.

A fashionably dressed Ci Xiufang was in a wheelchair and was being pushed out onto the stage. She was unaffected by her surroundings and was even muttering impatiently, “Make way, make way.”

Li Chen turned his head and said with a smile, “Yo, Auntie, you’re here? Happy New Year to you! Why don’t you share with everyone how you’re doing after your retirement?”

Ci Xiufang sat firmly in her wheelchair and gave him a look. “Tell me how you’d feel if your legs have been shortened?”

The audience laughed:

“Hahaha!”

“Hahahaha!”

The famous long-legged and handsome host, Li Chen, was at a loss. “Hai, why is this auntie speaking in such a way?”

Hao Hailiang pushed him aside. “You’re no good at phrasing your questions. You have to be a bit more tactful and speak like this. Auntie, happy retirement! Hey, Auntie!”

Ci Xiufang looked at him, “Who are you calling an auntie? Your face is full of wrinkles and you’re trying to act cute!”

The audience roared with laughter again!

Host Li Yan said, “Ai, look at this. Just look at you two, getting rebuffed like this. You two are really bad at talking!”

Hao Hailiang rolled his eyes. “Then why don’t you ask…”

Li Yan said, “Didn’t you hear? Auntie doesn’t wish for us to bring up her retirement!”

Li Chen said, “Alright, why don’t you give it a try instead?”

The famous interview host, Li Yan, had always been famous for his soft approach with people. He composed his features and knelt down gently in front of the wheelchair. Supporting himself with it, he said, “Auntie, I know that you poured blood and sweat into your career. So what do you—”

“Stop playing to my emotions! I won’t cry!” interrupted Ci Xiufang.

With that reply, the audience cramped up with laughter!

“Aiyo!”

“Pfft!”

“Hahahaha!”

“Aiyo, how face smacking!”

Li Yan sighed and said, “This—”

Ci Xiufang waved her hand. “Enough, enough, off the stage! This is my territory now!”

Li Chen said, “But this is a public space!”

Li Yan said, “We’ve been hanging around here since forever!”

Hao Hailiang said, “Yeah! What do you mean by your territory?”

Ci Xiufang curled her lips. “Alright then, those who are ugly can stay behind.”

At that, two of the hosts turned around and ran offstage!

Only Hao Hailiang was left stunned before he finally hurried offstage as well!

They had all disappeared!

Ci Xiufang harrumphed. “Like I wouldn’t be able to handle you people, tsk—”

The audience:

“Hahahaha!”

“This skit looks interesting!”

“It’s just the opening and I think it’s quite funny already!”

“This old lady is too harsh!”

“What a viper she is! Hahahahaha!”

“Auntie Ci has gone through a total makeover for this year!”

“Yeah, she’s never acted in such a role before. This is definitely a break from the kind of character that she usually plays. Zhang Ye is so bold!”

The cameras pulled out.

The info box was shown.

Skit: Dance If You Like.

Writer: Zhang Ye.

Performers: Ci Xiufang, Lian He.

Only now was the skit officially beginning!

The TV viewers instantly had their appetites whet!