I am Really a Superstar

Saturday.

Many viewers around the world had turned their televisions on.

“It’s about to begin!”

“It’s time for the second episode.”

“Yeah, I’ve been waiting an entire week for this.”

“I wonder if the second episode will be as good as the first episode.”

“I didn’t watch it last week, so I definitely have to watch it this week.”

“Is it really that good?”

“You’ll find out after you watch it.”

“Is it broadcasting on Central TV International?”

“Yes, it’s on the only international channel that China has.”

“Alright, it’s starting, it’s starting.”

“What? A swamp?”

“He’s heading into such a dangerous place?”

“I know where this place is! There are alligators there!”

Under the anticipation of viewers from all over the world, the second episode of Man vs. Wild officially began. A lot of people took out their snacks, soft drinks, or beer as they watched the show on television with their families. Unlike soccer, talk shows, and the various TV series, Man vs. Wild was a show that was very suited for a family of all demographics to watch together.

…

On TV.

Zhang Ye appeared on screen again.

This time, he appeared at a terrifying swamp.

“I’m Zhang Ye. Some people say that I’m a host, and others say I’m a writer, film actor, movie director, singer, mathematician, and hacker. I won’t deny any of those, but I know that there is still a title I have that nobody knows about. I am a wilderness survival specialist. I’m in the Everglades, in Florida, over 20,202 square kilometers of waterlogged grassland. Every year, this wilderness attracts 6 million visitors. Many get lost and need to be airlifted to safety. I’m starting in the most challenging part of the Everglades, the swamps. I’ll only have a knife, flint, and a canteen with me. I’m gonna put myself in the position of a lost tourist and show you how to survive in a wilderness like this.”

“I’m descending into the swamp.”

“Oh, there’s water all around.”

“I don’t like this place at all. It’s very disorienting, and you just can’t see what is in the water. It’s a very bad feeling, so I have to get out of here as quickly as possible and find dry land.”

“What I need now is a weapon, so I’m going to cut this pop ash branch down. At a critical moment, this could very well save my life.”

“First of all, I need to get my bearings.”

“I’m going to teach everyone a technique. Basically, the Everglades has a really wide river that runs from the north to the south, but it runs really slowly. So a good way of working out directions is to tie a water bottle to a stick and wait half an hour to see which way the bottle swings ’round. From there, I can find out which direction to head toward—OK, I’ve determined the direction, let’s go.”

“It’s been two hours, and I’ve been walking all this time. This is very tiring.”

“Walking through the swamp uses up a lot of energy, and you need to eat something.”

“Look, what’s this?”

“Break open a piece of deadwood and you’ll find carpenter ants in there.”

“These are carpenter ant larvae. Let me have a taste.”

“Hm, I can say for sure that it doesn’t taste good.”

“Oh, come and have a look at this. Ahead of me now is muddy bog. It’s a place where the earth will literally suck you in. The more you struggle, the more it sucks you into it. Each year, many people around the world lose their lives because of this. This is also one of the greatest dangers that you can encounter in the swamp. Usually when we see it, we should avoid it or go back the way we came. But what I’m going to do is jump in and show you how to get out of it if you fall into one.”

“I’m going in!”

“The sinkhole is constantly sucking me in!”

“My waist has completely sunk in!”

“Remember the stick that I had from before? It’s time to use it to save my life now. Use that to create more surface area to put your weight on, and try to wriggle your chest onto it. Once you’re up on the surface, just prone crawl until you hit solid ground. And then it’s quite easy like that.”

“Let’s keep going forward.”

“Look at what I found.”

“It’s a little tree frog.”

“Alright, I’m going to eat it.”

“Goddammit, the taste is really terrible.”

“I’m feeling extremely cold and hungry now. I’m in really bad shape, and I have to find food and water and build a campsite as well. Otherwise, I might not be able to get out of this swampland.”

“Wait!”

“There are some air bubbles coming up from the water!”

“Dammit! It’s an alligator! I’ve been noticed!”

“In the swamp, I won’t be able to outrun it. It’s much faster than me!”

“Damn! There are three of them!”

…

Dong Shanshan’s house.

His old classmates had gathered here.

“I’m gonna faint!”

“Those are ants!”

“How is this bastard able to eat everything!”

“Wasn’t he like this when we went to university? Cicadas, crickets, grasshoppers, he has eaten all of those before.”

“But he’s eating the ants raw!”

“He said that it didn’t taste good, so why did he still eat a dozen of them?”

…

The UK.

“Oh my God!”

“It’s a sinkhole!”

“Other people can’t wait to avoid something like that! Yet you still jump right into it!”

“He’s trapped!”

“Oh, he’s asking for it!”

“Wow, he managed to escape!”

“How terrifying!”

…

Russia.

“A frog?”

“He ate it! He really ate it!”

“I’m gonna puke!”

“Me too! Urgh!”

“He ate a live frog?”

“Everyone says we Russians are a warrior people! But damn! It feels like this fellow is even more of a warrior than we are!”

…

Japan.

“An alligator!”

“It’s the American alligator ¹ !”

“There are three of them! Zhang Ye is done for!”

“He’s been surrounded!”

“This is the real deal!”

“Haha, that’s what he gets for only caring about eating. See what a surprise he’s gotten into?”

…

India.

“You can do it, gator!”

“Bite him!”

“Bite him!”

“Attack him, gator!”

“Please attack, gator!”

…

China.

“Hahaha, Face-smacking Zhang is screwed!”

“Let him eat it!”

“Why isn’t he eating the alligators!”

“Yeah, he should continue with that next. Why is he running away!”

“I’m cramping up with laughter. This fellow is too reckless!”

“Wait, dammit!”

“Face-smacking Zhang has come back again!”

“What?”

…

Canada.

“Why did he come back?”

“The gators are still there!”

“Ahhh! One of the gators dropped out of the group!”

“Oh my God! Zhang Ye, h-he’s back for revenge!”

“He pounced on it!”

“My God! He pounced onto the back of the gator! He held its mouth shut!”

…

Korea.

“Holy shit!”

“He killed the alligator!”

“W-What is he trying to do!”

“He’s skinning it.”

“Oh my god! H-H-He’s going to eat the alligator!”

“He really ate it!”

“This glutton has gone mad!”

“Does he have to go this far!”

…

The second episode finished up.

The entire world’s viewers were stunned!

Ants.

Frogs.

Turtles.

Alligators.

With the second episode of Man vs. Wild, Zhang Ye once again swept through another wilderness. Everywhere he went, the place would be left barren. He ate everything that could be eaten!

On this day.

Countless people pissed their pants!

On this day.

Countless people were left kneeling!

The second episode’s viewership ratings had gone up again!

China: #1

America: #5

The UK: #3

Korea: #3

India: #7

Russia: #4

Man vs. Wild was close to unstoppable!