The Experimental Log of the Crazy Lich

Compared to races blessed with longevity, a human’s individual fighting prowess is definitely a shortcoming. However, humans are a race that depend heavily on tools and external items to achieve victory (The White Wolf Royal Guards can only reach Silver-rank when coupled with their mounts and equipment). The so-called large countries refers to those who possess an advantage in agriculture, manufacturing, alchemy, magic, breeding livestock and the grooming of talents, that’s why they are able to equip and sustain a stronger army and military power.

TL: The word 大国 (large countries), in Chinese have the idea of them being powerful as well. So, you all can safely assume the large countries I am talking about to not just be large in term of land size.

For example, the armor of the White Wolf Guards is an alloy of Missilor Mithril. Not mentioning the blueprint for the armor of their light cavalry, even the basic materials required for the alloy itself is a class 1 secret of the Auland Empire. The Missilor Savage Dragon Lance, Savage Javelin and Savage Sword that they specially created are all high-quality alchemy products. As for their Marlot horses, it is a top-quality war horse that they carefully cross-bred for many generations. It is said that this type of war horse feed on meat.

It is because of such luxurious equipment that a Bronze-rank Knight is forcefully pulled to the strength of a Silver-rank (human). Coupling it with an overwhelming advantage in quantity and strategy, their fighting power would be one to reckon with.

Not only unique troops are like that, all human soldiers are reliant on equipment. For example, a former farmer who undergo a year of basic soldier training, after giving him a Dragon Lance, he would be a tier 1 basic Spearman. If he were to undergo 2 year of shooting training, with a magic crossbow, he would be a tier 1 intermediate Crossbowman.

If they undergo 5 years of strict training and equips full heavy plate mail with alchemy medicine that increases one’s strength, then they would be a tier 2 basic armored Berserker. On the other hand, if they started grooming a Griffin from young, then after it matures to the point that it could be ridden on, a tier 3 Griffin Rider would be born. Of course, basically, only nobles who can afford the feed for Griffins will be able to assume such an expensive job.

Of course, due to being too reliant on external tools, it is unavoidable that they would be physically weak. Once dismounted, the White Wolf Guards are only Bronze-rank foot soldiers. They would then be heavily dependent on co-operation and formations. Humans are quite well-known for their military art and using the combination of different soldiers to cover for the weakness of another is a lesson that all commanders must undergo.

The inheritance and innovation of technology and culture caused the continuous emergence of new types of soldiers and new equipment. Not to mention, the growth rate of humans surpasses that of the other races and tribes, so they had never feared a battle of attrition. This also the primary reason why the short-lived Humans who don’t have any race talents are able to claim supremacy in this world.

For example, the Elves are indeed strong. It is perfectly common for adult Elves to be at Silver-rank. However, it takes 200 years for them to mature… That is enough for the birth of 4 to 5 generations of humans. Furthermore, the odd one of the Elves, the Dark Elves, despite being the only one with strong reproductive abilities, they have the most intense internal conflict of all. However, admittedly, in a damned place like the Underground World, the only way one can attain sufficient resources is through cruel elimination of adversaries.

Thus, in the eyes of other races, the Human race only have 1 advantage — strong reproductive abilities. But, this advantage is sufficient by itself.

Indeed, our fake Gold-ranks might not be able to compete against the real Gold-ranks of your Elf Race. But, it wouldn’t be a loss even if I had to exchange 10 of mine for one of yours. There are people to replace me even after I’m dead as long there are sufficient equipment. By 10 years, my army would have recovered. But, you Elves have to wait 200 years for a new generation to mature, are you all sure you can compete with us?

Also, as long as the population is large enough, top-class talents would naturally appear. At the very least, every top-tier Empire would have at least a few SemiGod old geezers.

However, the human kingdoms aren’t infallible. In the invasion by the Underground Alliance in the future, against absolute power coupled with military tactics that aren’t inferior to them, the Human Kingdoms also tasted the pain of lacking top-tier fighting power.

Thus, the need for stronger soldiers stimulated their advancement, they welcomed another period of rapid growth of engineering, alchemy and magic. That bizarre tier 5 soldier, Magic Machinery Dragon, is the product of the new Magic Machinery study and Magic Formation study.

Alright, let’s stop talking about the future that brings migraine to one. Just the present itself is causing me a headache.

A large tree attracts wind. In history, the Auland Empire accurately displayed the meaning of this phrase through actual actions. Regardless of whether it is the invading Underground Alliance or the Undead Calamity, they decisively chose them as their primary target.

It will be cool under the shade of a large tree? No, following the international rules, under the orders of the sovereign state, the subordinate states must go onto the battlefield as well. Furthermore, they would come under the command of the sovereign state, so it is almost certain that they would be forced to serve as cannon fodder. When I start to think about the cruel wars that would happen in the future, the smaller a country is, the less cards they have on their hand, the easier it is for them to be crushed. This is also why I won’t sit idly by and watch as the East Mist Communal Country to becomes the subordinate state of the Auland Empire.

However, just like what I have heard previously, if we were to reject them directly, it would probably cause a war. Both endings are equally bad, so it would be really difficult to choose between the two.

“Since it is hard to choose, then we might as well not choose. We should try to look for ways to turn it into a farce. As long as the subordinate state alliance fails and the plan is postponed for a few years, the situation would change completely. Of course, if I do not exact vengeance against them, I won’t be able to take it lying.”

Although I said these words, I still have no idea how I should strike.

Even in the case of deflecting a thousand points of strength with one point of strength, one would require at least one point of strength. Compared to a gigantic organisation like the Auland Empire, the strength in my hands might not even tally up to half a point.

“As it is my first time here, everything must be started from scratch. I don’t have sufficient intelligence and network, so there is no way I can come up with a reliable action plan. However, since I still have 3 months before the inauguration ceremony, I should make getting into their top echelons and collecting information as my primary objective.”

This is also the reason why I am at the entrance of this dirty and smelly underground sewage now.

“It is really too smelly. Even if we have to complete a mission to please that Count, but there isn’t a need to accept such a mission right?”

The ex-Queen of Banshees and current Queen of Slimes pinches her nose as she complains with a look of resentment on her face.

“Look, it’s your brethren.” I pointed at the pungent sewage culvert. Over there, a Mud Slime is currently struggling, its body filled with fetid filth.

After glancing for a brief moment, disgust overwhelms her. Harloys immediately turns into a black cat and pounces over.

“I am the noble Queen of Banshees! The Omniscient One of the secrets of magic, not some filthy Slime.”

First claw second bite third tail whip, she is quite well-versed in cat martial art. However, when used by this black cat, rather than saying it is an attack, one might as well say it is an attempt to act cute. However, I didn’t ignore it as I usually do. This is because Harloys’s biting attacks have some threat to them now.

【Frozen Air: A kind of deadly cold air that is without sound or presence. It can be enchanted on one’s physical body and weapon, as well as paired together with Ice Magic as an attack. Those who are touched by the Frozen Air will have all movements slowed by 1% and suffer 1 point of ice damage per second. This debuff can be stacked. If the target’s movement speed is reduced by more than 20%, a frozen effect will be inflicted. Many negative status will be inflicted such as the freezing of one’s thought. If the target’s movement speed is reduced by more than 50%, then there is a chance that the target might die at any moment due to massive loss of heat.】

From a certain sense, a Mage’s Magic Pet is also a part of himself. The Touch of Ghoul, Touch of Lich and various other magic spells that require Mages to be in close proximity to the target to cast can be released through their Magic Pets. However, I never thought that the one to benefit the greatest from the passive ability ‘Frozen Air’ would be Harloys.

As a cat or bat, she is a small target and the interval between her attacks are short. She is stealthy, making her suited for assaults. Furthermore, the minuscule damage that one incurs from her claws easily causes the other party to neglect her attacks. If she were to stack a few dozen layers of Frozen Air, then the person would probably not be that far off from death.

Though, in the face of someone who knows about it beforehand, it becomes meaningless.

With a light step, a spin and a pinch, I managed to grab hold of the cat’s biggest weakness, the back of their neck. After turning 2 rounds, what I received is a dead cat who is shooting gold stars from her eyes.

“Hmph, you are still too young to fight with me.”

I laugh gleefully. My level has been stuck for quite a period of time due to the experience penalty which is getting more ridiculous. Also, I wasn’t willing to invest my valuable skill points into that darned Ice System. However, along the way, I had been revising on my Holy Light and Power of Law, causing my battle power to soar.

But, what that grew even more rapidly was surprisingly, my swordsmanship and martial arts. This should have been the main area of study for Warriors. After all, they lack the augmentation of supernatural abilities. However, for me, studying swordsmanship is like trying to recall my past memories, so there’s no need for me to spend too much effort to learn it.

This twist and step may seem simple, but it is actually a footwork with profound meaning. Coupled together with my profound swordsmanship, every attack is clean and thorough, making me look extremely cool. If I were to display this outside, it would definitely stir the praises of experts and the screams of beautiful ladies. How can I be so cool!

“Rolande! Can you be even more ridiculous? Other people are fighting and yet you are playing with your cat!”

Momo’s sword was quick like the wind. At this moment, she is currently chasing a group of Underground Rats, slashing furiously at them. Judging from how their entire body is dyed red, they must have assaulted a group of passers-by not long ago.

Fine, the mad dog may look decent, so reluctantly, she could be considered a beauty. However, the Dark Elf’s sense of aesthetics cannot be trusted.

Thus, I shot my gaze towards Krose.

“Lord Oracle, even if you are the one who carries out the will of my Lord, but if you such inappropriate behavior will bring shame to my Lord. Please fight seriously.”

The Wild Elf Krose is brandishing a gigantic wooden vine staff which is even taller than her. Lightning flashes time and time again in the pitch black underground tunnel and every flash is accompanied by a scream of agony. Our group lacks firepower and due the the apparent fact that we have an excess of Law jobs, she took on the role of a damage dealer as a Storm Druid.

The Lightning Spell can be cast even in the underground. Although its might is obviously weaker than how it should be, the strength is still enough to overturn the common sense of normal Druids, proving that she has astonishing talent and potential in the control of lightning.

【Krose.Ainta

Gender: Krose

Race: Wild Elf

Job: LV60 Druid/LV12 Storm Druid/LV20 Judgementor/LV3 Storm Judgementor (Krose’s self-created Legend job), Total LV95, Combined LV83

Soul Imprint: The Storm Envoy

Fighting Power Evaluation: Legend Priestess

System Evaluation: She is a big thigh worth lying on, not to mention it is a beautiful one. As for that gender Krose, as this joke is too old, I won’t talk more about it. Right, the Spring of Drowned Man will be added into the Gachapon recently so try your best to draw it so as to please this beauty.】

TL: Big thigh -> It is a Chinese web phrase, just imagine in an rpg, a newbie hugging the leg of a veteran while the veteran fights monsters.

Although a letter that I personally wrote and Diana’s testimony is sufficient to convince her that I am Wumianzhe’s Oracle, somehow, she seems to always bring up strict requests of me such as ‘You can’t do that’ ‘You must discipline yourself properly, slacking around everyday really damages my Lord’s reputation’, putting it as though I soiled the reputation of her God.

“Hmph, about soiling Wumianzhe’s reputation, did you think that I was very reliable before?” Alright, saying words that insult a Priestess’s true God is equal to throwing in a white glove to engage her in a duel to the death, there’s no way I would say these words to her face.

Even though she couldn’t exactly be considered a ‘beautiful lady’, judging from how everyone was staring at me angrily, it seems like I have accidentally incurred the wrath of the crowd. I better keep myself in check.

“So, where exactly is that jade?”

Something is amiss with this mission. Despite possessing solid authority and numerous experts under his command, he tasked us, outsiders, to look for his family heirloom jade that he lost.

“This lantern used to guide our path is obviously a type of necromancy magic, more like searching for souls and corpses. Hehe, looks like I have started to see the truth of this matter.”

After biting on my finger with all her might as revenge, Harloys jumps on my shoulder. Sitting on higher ground allows her to distance herself from the smell of those putrid filth.

I also found it odd that the Count would hand us a lantern filled with magic, saying that we would find the jade by following its guide. However, from my senses, it is obviously a necromancy magic that is guided by flesh and blood. It is a necromancy magic that tracks the missing limbs or the master of the sample of flesh and blood used in the ritual. Ignoring the fact that a human Count has a Necromancer under his command, could the jade that we have to find a part of someone’s body?

“Alright, it is right in front.”

After everyone are done clearing the battlefield, I walk over with the lantern in my hand. In the end, I stop in front of a giant pot left behind by the Ratman.

Looking at how the lantern is flickering at rapid intervals, it seems that the jade we are looking for is in this pot. Thus, I casually lift the ladle inside and scoop up the contents inside a few times. The first few times, I managed to scoop up human fingers and ears. It seems that this really is a miscellaneous soup from the Ratman.

But soon afterwards, I managed to scoop up my objective — the jade.

“Oh, so the jade refers to eggs.”

Alright, the mad dog explained very straightforwardly. In front me is a part of the male reproductive organ, more commonly known as eggs. It is already cooked very thoroughly and looks… Alright, I am so disgusted that I find myself unable to continue describing it.

“Heh, there is only one truth! The unlucky Count must have been philandering outside, inciting his wife to bring the knife down on him fiercely. Afterwards, she threw his eggs into the underground sewage. Hehe, she sure is vicious, I feel a bit of an urge to meet that wife of the Count.”

Somehow, after hearing Harloys’s ill-intentioned conjecture, looking at her gaze which was filled with malice, I felt a chill down my spine.

“No, it isn’t a wound from a knife but rather, it seems to have been crushed. Judging from the wounds, there probably isn’t any culprit in this case. I suspect that the fat Count might have accidentally put his eggs between the toilet bowl cover and the toilet bowl and sat down. KACHA, and it fell into the underground sewage.” (There is an actual case on the web)

“Look, that Count is obese and movement isn’t very convenient for him. Also, the sides of the metal toilet bowl is quite sharp. Thus, when pressure is applied, PACHI, it is immediately ripped apart…”

Should I say as expected of a Judge who is a professional at analysing cases? In the end, Krose even clapped her hands together to emulate the action of a pressure acting downwards while making sounds like ‘KACHA, PACHI’, but…

“Why are you all covering your lower body, is there is a mistake in my conjecture?”

“No, it is just that everyone fills as though their eggs are being pulled, it hurts a little.”

Alright, without doubt, the action of these man covering their lower body is the instinctive ability to empathise with another man. However, this result that left people speechless has determined that this day would be a farce that would leave us mentally and physically tired.

“Why can’t we meet a slightly more normal person? It is enough for our band to be unreliable, but now, even our client has to be unreliable as well?” I question the blue sky and as expected, there is no reply.

“Do we have to bring it back? Disgusting, Momo doesn’t want to touch it.”

“He probably wants the help of a Priest to reattach it, otherwise he wouldn’t have spent money to hire us. Who wants to take it?”

Apparently, no one wants to touch a thing like this. Just as we were trying to push the responsibility to the one another, ‘boom’ a loud explosion caused the entire underground tunnel to tremble.

“The Ratman army has arrived. They have always been a lifeform with strong desire for vengeance.”

Clint quietly takes a step forward. His voice had a rare tinge of pride in it. It seems that the traps that he laid by himself has worked.

But instead of reassuring me, cold sweat starts appearing on my head. Looking at the rubble that dropped from the ceiling, this fellow seems to have used too much gunpowder.

“Clint, you didn’t set up explosives going by the standards of the Underground World right? This is a man-made tunnel, there is no way it would be as sturdy as the rock walls of the Underground World. How many did you bury…”

Alright, there is no need to question him further. From Clint’s action of turning around to flee, it clearly says what is going to happen afterwards.

“BOOM!” “BOOM!” A series of explosions caused the entire underground sewage to crumble. This clearly shows that not only did he bury explosives, he buried a ton of them.

“Damn it! Can’t you all be more normal?”

While escaping with all my might, I thought about Krose who was explaining her conjecture calmly and the Prince of Explosions, I immediately regretted coming up with the name ‘Absolute Gentlemen Alliance’.

“Krose whose gender is Krose. The mysterious Prince Clint who hides his face and plays with explosives. Beifeng. Un, there is absolutely no need for any description. Beifeng itself is the best adjective for perverts. Casio, who is getting closer with Beifeng (Although he seems normal at the moment, being friendly with Beifeng is a big problem by itself). The mad dog who is into shotas. The Dark Elves who seek the path of Holy Light and Law. 2 gays (The 2: We are not gays, we just love Krose). There really isn’t a normal person here. I have decided, if I manage to escape safely from here, I will go out and look for 2 normal teammates!”

“You forgot yourself, you insane old monster.”

“Un, thank you for your reminder, the old granny who pretends to be young!”

“Didn’t I forbid you from calling me that! I will bite you, I really will!”

“You already bit me, you bastard. I forbid you from stacking Frozen Air on me!”

“Apologise!”

“Absolutely not!”

“Then eat my attacks!”

“Do you think you are the only one who can stack Frozen Air to lower one’s movement speed? Watch me.”

When everyone escaped from the underground sewage, they discovered that not too far from the entrance of the sewage, a man and a cat is currently brawling ‘intensely’. While proceeding forward with the speed of a turtle, they tried their hardest to slow the other down. The entire underground sewage was already trembling, on the verge of collapsing at any moment now.

“Rolande! Stop playing with the cat at such a time!”

“I am not playing with the cat!”

“We are fighting!”

Alright, before everyone had the time to be surprised over the fact that the little black cat could actually speak, the underground sewage finally collapsed. Even in the instant when the rubble came crashing down, the sound of the arguments between the two could still be heard.

“Look, thanks to you, old granny! No milk for you tomorrow!”

“Hmph, you would need to have a tomorrow for that. To be able to pull you down with me, my life was worthwhile! Even after I fall into hell, I would wake up laughing.”

“BOOM!”

When innumerable rocks come crashing down and everything is reduced to ruins, everyone was flabbergasted. What kind of person was he, to sacrifice his life for an argument with a little cat.

“Haa, I almost died!”

“Don’t worry, disasters live for a thousand years. Given your ability to bring about catastrophes, you would even survive the end of the world. Look at my Claw of the Meow God!”

Alright, looks like I spoke too early. A head pops up from the rubble. Despite being stuck there, he was still using his teeth to fight with his cat while insulting each other.

But obviously, being stuck in the rubble, he is unable to defeat the cat. As scratches start to pile up on his face, without any hesitation, he surrenders and begs for forgiveness.

“3 times the portion of milk tomorrow.”

“Milk bath, the highest quality one! Meow wants a vat.”

“Deal!”

Alright, looking at the man and cat who quickly came to an agreement, let’s not elaborate on what emotions they were showing on their face when they dug out their leader. They were all considering whether they should retreat from the band before they are dragged to their deaths by this living treasure. But, unexpectedly, they swiftly realised that the team leader Rolande was still holding that disgusting ladle in his hands.

“You can’t be thinking of going to claim the reward right? After it is cooked and crushed, it is already entirely ruined. Just throw it away.”

“Yeah, a Gold-rank Priest may not be able to revive it even if you were to return it back. The Count will just end up angered by the embarrassment.”

I shook my head. I already understood clearly why the Count would task this to an external mercenary band like us.

“Diana and Krose, follow me to complete the mission. This fellow handed us this mission despite having underlings of his own, he obviously intend to dispose of us after using us. Great, after he turns his back on us, we will take him down and threaten him with this toy. This way, we can manipulate him and his network.”

“Your plan sounds okay, but if that ladle touches me, I will make sure you go down with me!”

I didn’t reply to Harloys’s complaint. At this moment, I was surprised by the System Notice.

“Congratulations, you have activated the Epic mission: The Revival of the Mist!”

A few minutes ago, Kelly and Reyne was astonished after opening a thick letter.

“The blueprint of the full armor of the Aurora Knights? The blueprint of the royal family’s heavy infantry Avalanche Guardian? The training manual for training Asmu Hounds…”

In the mix is more than 30 types of powerful soldier types that were lost, information regarding their jobs, training methods and equipment blueprint. All these are the pride of the powerful Mist Country and the Mist Bloodline, but they were destroyed in the battle in Diffindor along with the city.

“Could this really be the inheritance that we have lost? Did someone from East Mist who escaped to Auland Capital keep all these?”

“No, they are top-tier secrets. The number of people people who knew all these back then were in the single digits. Besides, look at the blueprint for this armor, we have it as well but it is slightly different… Inconceivable! With such a change, the defense ability would be increased by at least 20%. It is actually an improved version! Who is it, to be able to further refine such a perfect design. Also, the ink for the blueprint has yet to dry yet. It is probably written not too long ago.”

【Just a small present, please accept it. I will be visiting you all soon — Rolande】

“Who is Rolande?”

“It doesn’t matter who he is, there is hope for the East Mist Communal Country! As long as we take these back, give it 10 years, we would be able to rise up again as a powerful country in the North!”

Not mentioning the two overjoyed ladies, at this moment, my head was hurting from the mission that was suddenly triggered. I really didn’t expect a whim of mine to cause such a big trouble for me.

【Congratulations, you have activated the Epic mission: The Revival of the Mist!】

【Quest objective: Remove the threat of the East Mist Communal Country from being annexed as a subordinate state. Bring back the Country of Winter Wolves in the far North — in the face of the true King of Winter Wolves, Darsos means nothing at all.】

【Quest rewards: Roland Sacred Sword will be upgraded to a God Equipment. The clue to the God Equipment Holy Thorned Crown — I know that you have been wanting to find this Guardian Equipment of your country.】

【Quest failure penalty: Turned into a female. I am serious, very serious. If you can’t protect your country this time, you might as well become a girl.】

TL: The phrase for Guardian Equipment is 镇国神器， which means an extremely powerful weapon used to stabilise the country/ deter enemies.

“My head hurts, where did the fellow Karwenz throw the Holy Thorned Crown to? Not even saying a word about it, now I have to look for it myself.”

Although I was complaining, the smile on my face probably didn’t escape the notice of anyone.

“This time, I definitely will not fail.”