The Experimental Log of the Crazy Lich

Un, this is my reflection of the Siren incident. Indeed, there is still true love in the world. We must learn to trust others!

“Meow, Roland, no matter how much you try to turn your eyes from reality, what that will come will eventually come. Open your eyes and look.”

The black cat on my shoulder mocks me gleefully.

“Shut up, aren’t I pretending not to see it at all!”

Yes, I am trying to escape from this scary reality. To think that the great Church of the God of Law would actually turn into a hideout for Gentlemen to exchange all kinds of perverted information.

“… Back then, I was still a normal Dracon. I had just emerged from my egg when I saw him. He is my birth mother, his crown was so majestic, his feathers were truly elegant… Only a long time later did I know that my egg went missing and the one who picked up my egg used the livestock they were rearing to incubate my egg.”

So, the only period when you were normal was the few minutes when you just emerged from your egg. How ridiculous can you be! Also, what is up with that birth mother of yours, he is obviously a male, isn’t it? Since he has a crown, he is obviously a rooster. From the very start, you got it all wrong. It is said that a hatchling would regard the first being they see as their mother, are you Dracons the same as well? Well, I have never heard of it! You are the only one of your kind! Are you born a pervert?

Let me catch my breath. There is really too many details on him to retort on, there is really no end to it.TL: Tsukkomi would be more accurate but it isn’t really an English word.

“… The Great Hero Odysseus? Indeed, he had a romance with a Siren friend of mine. But, he isn’t any kind of great hero. He is obviously a gangster and a playboy. It is said that the Sirens which he had fooled and laid his hands on number over twenty. He is really a bastard… We Sirens are really pitiful, we are born full of emotions but yet condemned to a lonely life. The treasures we pick up from the sea always end up getting scammed away by evil man who pretends to be some hero, such as the Saint Kaesora and Dragon Knight Edwin… Even if by chance, we really manage to meet a good man, he would turn into a sloppy uncle in less than 20 years. Just another nap and he would have turned into an old man and die, leaving us lovelorn for the rest of our life. That’s the reason why most of us would find a remote island to reside in. Even so, sometimes when the loneliness gets unbearable, we would still fall for such tricks.”

Alright, big sister, I know that it is hard for you to find a soulmate to confide in, so naturally, you would become more talkative. But, please do not soil the image of those great heroes in my heart. How did those great heroes who left their mark in history become a bunch of playboys? Alright, if we were to look at those stories where Sirens had godly equipment and secrets robbed from them from another perspective, it does seem like they were the ones who bashed into the home of a lonely widower to claim their body and steal their fortune.

“Hmph, that’s only because you Sirens are too dumb. Look at us Elves, we won’t fall in love with those with short lifespan. Those lifespan often shout their slogan of ‘you only live once’, proclaiming that they should not restraint themselves and live radiantly and carefree. Isn’t that just another way of saying that they would be irresponsible and reckless? Just like you said, even if you meet with someone good, they would die off the next moment. No matter what, it would end in a tragedy… However, the innocent children are an exception. They are so pure and cute. Those gazes of trust and innocence staring at me. I would be able to slowly dye the color I want on this blank white wall without worrying that they would so astray and wait for them to mature to reap my fruits… To us Elves, what does 20 years count as? As long as we are able to savor the delicious fruit in the end, even if it is a tragedy, I will give in to it!”

Hello, is it the police? There is a weird auntie here! Momo, can you stop sneaking peeks at me while saying these words? Can you stop salivating! I really feel that I’m in danger!

“Explosion, is an art form.”

“No, explosion is just a means, a method to create a safe haven!”

“Hmph, how shallow! As expected of the short-sighted humans. No wonder your works are filled with the scent of a third-rate craftsman. Even if your bombs are precise and accurate, there isn’t a hint of passion and creativity in it.”

“I have seen the art that you speak of. What does it mean to be unsure of the time and strength your explosion? Do you intend to blow yourself up?”

“… This is an insult to the entire Gnome Engineering and Alchemy society! Do you know how we treat those foolish Dwarves who question the art of the Gnomes? We kick their butt and blast them away!”

Alright, Yingou Beyar, I know that you are excited from escaping from the prison cell. But, we didn’t save you so that you can cause destruction. Also, Clint! I know that you are the practical type, but if you don’t keep those bombs away, I will hang you on the ceiling! I mean what I say! You too, Beyar! If you dare to ignite the Alchemy Bomb in your hands, I will dump you into the main cannon of Roland No.88 and blast you back into prison.

The district where the royal family prison is was also affected by the flood. Naturally, the short fellows who almost lost their old lives in their flooded cells won’t calmly wait for their deaths.

Without any hesitation, they brought forward the plan to escape from the cell. A giant robot creating havoc at the prison and prisoners escaping from it is the recent headlines. Now, I can only hope that the spies of the royal family are spending their efforts on the battlefield and that Darsos does not turn against me during this crucial period. At the very least, before I finish my planning.

“Old fellow, even if you saved me this time, don’t expect old Lowens to give up his own hobby. Next time, let’s spar in the battlefield once more. Old Lowens will make sure to return this favour back to you. Also, the fallen Gray Elf, you as well. There will be a day which we will cross blows.”

“Hah, as expected of a smelly and rough Shield Dwarf. We should have left you there to drown.”

“Hmph, we Shield Dwarves aren’t landlocked villagers who have never seen water our whole life. When old Lowens was hunting Snake-neck Dragons under the water, you were still feeding on breast milk.”

“Oh ho, we don’t have to wait for that day to come. We can start right now.”

Alright, I know that you Gray Dwarves are mortal enemies with the Shield Dwarves but at the very least, consider the camaraderie that you both have just built up as fellow prison mates. Alright, it looks like beating around the bush doesn’t work, so I will say it directly. You short things, put down the stools and cups and fight outside! Otherwise, I will also throw you all into the cannon and blast you all away!

Somehow, I feel really tired, as though my mental energy is being polluted. As expected, I shouldn’t have listened to the words of these fellows. I better continue appreciating the beauty of the world.

“Big Brother Roland, your tea.”

“Oh, thank you.”

Only my great great great great granddaughter cares for me. Just when I am thinking so, somehow, I feel that something is wrong.

“Great granddaughter fetish and great grandfather fetish huh? Such heavy taste.”As expected, this black cat would not give me a moment of peace. If she didn’t get tricked to become my binded equipment, going by the identity of this undying old demon and her twisted personality, she is definitely worthy of the title of the Great Gentleman.

However, her sarcasm made my heart skip a beat. I am also a little suspicious of the obedient behaviour of this little lass recently. Also, that System Notice which I found it hard to look straight at made my heart beat furiously.

However, looking at how she proceeds to serve tea to her temporary mentor, Diana, with a sweet smile on her face, I shake my head and dispel my suspicions.

“She is probably just paying respect to her elders. The System is never reliable. After all, I am not a cross-dresser who is into female clothing. Naturally, Reyne wouldn’t be so blind to be into me. After all, we look so alike. If she were to have a crush on me, wouldn’t it be narcissism?”

I hesitate for a moment before finally speaking out.

“Everyone, prepare for a little bit. I am going out to find 2 people. When I return, we would probably have a tough battle to fight. Oh right, also prepare to abandon this place.”

Yes, from the moment the invasion of the Seafolks began, the enthronement ceremony has been postponed indefinitely. From that moment on, our official reason of staying here for the enthronement ceremony would be voided and naturally, we no longer have a reason to remain here.

Also, somehow, I feel that something is amiss with this situation. The development of this war is a little too bizarre.

If it was just the prelude battle to the Sacred War, then the God Beast appeared too early. However, if we were to slightly think about it, it all made sense.

It isn’t difficult for a Nine-headed Dragon Emperor of his level to transmogrify to the form of a human. So, there is a high possibility that he was concealing under the river to overlook the troops. However, the sudden pincer attack of the two Fleets caught him off-guard. If he didn’t make a move, the two SemiGods of Auland Empire would be more than enough to clear off all of the invading Seafolks.

Thus, while the Nine-headed Dragon got to slaughter innumerable lives, he was also forced into a bad situation. As a pet of a Malevolent God, he represents the will of the Malevolent God. If he were to launch an assault on the coastline, then the level of the battle would escalate immediately. Even if the Order Gods don’t make a move personally, they would also send an expert Dragon Slayer down. A direct warrior of a true God, that is an existence very different from the human SemiGods.

If he were to escape, not mentioning how the Seafolks here would be wiped out, his master would also lose prestige as a result. Thus, not making a move became the ideal choice.

The Auland Empire would probably have some trump cards behind their back. However, seeing how they chose bomb to bomb a few shells every few hours, they are probably afraid to offend the great God if they were to engage its subordinate. The same goes for the Nine-headed Dragon as well. It doesn’t have any intention to leave its original position at all. As long as you don’t get on its nerves, it would only spit two Dragon Breaths now and then. While the Seafolks are fighting maniacally on the surface, seven of its nine heads were lazing about.

The horns of the eternal Sacred War has just been blown on and no one is fully prepared yet. If they were to clash with their full might as this point, regardless of who it is, they would only be reduced to cannon fodder (pawns), the Nine-headed Dragon and Auland aren’t dumb to not see such facts.

But, on the contrary, this kind of stalemate made me feel the precariousness of the situation.

A stalemate on a battlefield is often created through a certain balance between both parties and this kind of balance is always temporary. Both of them are only restraining themselves because they are not prepared for the heavy price they would have to pay for the conclusive battle. It is just a matter of time before preparations would be completed. As the stalemate collapses, it would most probably lead to the complete defeat of one party and going by the current situation, the one to fall is most probably the Auland Empire who is not fully prepared.

If the Queen of Storms were to set her heart to launch a full-out war, even if it might mean her downfall or if some dumb SemiGod were to go and slay her beloved Nine-headed Dragon… Just thinking about the possibility of it happening and what would happen afterwards, I can’t help but feel that this city by the river is really unsafe.

The technology that Darsos promised me is already in my hands and the carts of resources are already out of the territories of the Auland Empire. There is a possibility of the contract being fulfilled at anytime, so I have to start preparing for my retreat as well. But, before that…

“Reyne, follow me. There are two people who you must meet.” After hesitating for a moment, I decided in the end to call another person along.

“Yingou, you as well. This time, the person we are meeting is your peer. Your mission is doing what you are best at, brag as much as you can and try your best to coax them over to our side.”

—————-

‘The Master of Magic Engineering’ Timmy Lade, ‘Miraculous Alchemist’ Olivia Wright. They are the creators of the Magic Engineering Study as well as the creator of the future tier-5 troop Magic Machinery Dragon. In the future epic war, of all of the rising stars, they are the two brightest ones.

War is a stimulant for the development of new technologies and a training ground for troops. In the future war, the Magic Engineering Study that these two came up with will create numerous godly weapons and war equipment. They play a crucial part in the reason why Auland Empire was able to walk to the pinnacle of mankind before their destruction.

Of course, in history, they would start proposing the combination of Alchemy Magic Formations and Engineering Study only after the war with the Underground World. Also, the Magic Mechanical Dragon is a product 60 years from now. Right now, one of the hero of Kagersi should still be a rookie Engineer who relies on selling toys for a living while the other is an unqualified Alchemist who just got expelled from the Alchemy Campus.

Even if they are obscure unimportant figures at this point, even if history has changed and those two might not rise up as they did, these two people are way too important. Lacking manpower from the start, there is no way I would let them off.

The reason why I haven’t looked for them all along is because of the reason that geniuses tend to be eccentric and these two are supreme geniuses who have left their mark in history… Alright, I will be more direct. Back then, my goal for recruiting companions is for them to be normal. The quirks and habits of those two are definitely the most gentlemanly of the Gentlemen, so why would I take the initiative to look for them.

But now…

Looking at the System Notice, I shake my head helplessly.

【Exceeding the normal logic, un, otherwise known as perverted Gentlemen, we might not be understood by others. That is because we fervently pursuit the path in our hearts while ignoring the eyes of others. But, to a true Gentleman, so what if other people are unable to understand us? It is sufficient that those who are also seeking their own paths are able to understand one another. As the King among Gentlemen, you are able to comprehend everyone’s frustrations and pain. You are the brethren of all Gentlemen. Everyone naturally respects you. 】

【Honorary Title King of Gentlemen: As the Gentleman among Gentlemen, the legendary uncrowned king, your reputation will spread throughout all dimensions. All Gentlemen who you meet will feel as though they are meeting with an old friend and their intimacy towards you will rise significantly. However, normal people will resent and avoid you. At the same time, as the King of Gentlemen, you will attract Gentlemen to you. Also, if you were to extend an invitation to them, there is a higher probability they would come under your command. 】

At that moment, even if the strength of the Ogre is really not bad and Tracy even guaranteed that he would listen to me obediently and that he would be a good fighter as long as I provide him food, I still hesitated on inviting him to join us.

But, very quickly, my dilemma vanished. When the 4 short fellows escaped from jail, the number of members in the Absolute Gentlemen Alliance exceeded the number required and the System decisively granted this title onto me.

【Congratulation, King of Gentlemen. As the King who rules over perverts, your Gentleman level is unmatched by anyone else. – Don’t talk to me. Mum, there is a pervert here! 】

“Hehe, I suddenly find you a little more pleasing to the eye.”

I have already tested the prowess of this aura and the words of the others made me a little happy. However, this ‘pleasing to the eye’ which came from the Dracon made a shiver go down my spine.

Cough cough, back to the main topic at hand, after receiving the ‘noble title’ of the King of Gentlemen, after being so depressed that I almost gave up on myself, I can only hope that this title is as powerful as it is described as and that it would help me coax those two future rising stars.

“Hmph, I have never heard of that Timmy Lade but that Olivia is a well-known freak. Of the 13 main lessons, she failed 7 of them, resulting in her expulsion from school. She is almost becoming the shame of the school, so how could she still count as a genius?”

Unexpectedly, our band had a new companion, the granddaughter of the Holy Knight Kane, Kathleen. She turned out to be an ex-student of Kagersi 3rd Alchemy Campus and classmates with Olivia.

Since the sword is already in my hand, naturally, Kathleen has made her decision. Right now, she is my Knight squire and a Mage apprentice.

Yes, she chose neither the path of a Knight nor the path of a Mage.

“That… Can I try both of them? I really can’t make up my mind.”

From what I know, she hasn’t given up on Alchemy yet too. The time and energy of a person is limited, learning 3 of them simultaneously is really suicidal but I didn’t say anything. Anyway, reality would force her make a choice sooner or later. Her impression of it would be deeper if she were to crash into the wall herself.

When she heard that we are looking for a genius in Alchemy, as a fellow Alchemist, she volunteered to tag along. But, when she heard that it was Olivia, displeasure could be seen on her face.

“It should be somewhere here. Do you know exactly where Olivia lives?”

As expected, I got an affirmative no from Kathleen. Thus, I casually asked a passer-by for directions.

“Excuse me, do you know where Alchemist Olivia…” Alright, halfway through my words, the burly man’s face turns ghastly white the moment he heard Olivia’s name. Perspiration flows profusely from him as his eyes swims about.

Alright, from the reaction of this passer-by, I can roughly guess what kind of person she is.

“If her Gentleman level is high, with the assistance of the King of Gentlemen title, it should be easy to coax her to join us. But, if she is too Gentlemanly, that bunch of bastards is already enough to deal with… Should I hope that she would be more normal or should I hope that she would be more abnormal? Such a dilemma.”

“Boom!”

“Alright, you don’t have to show me the way anymore. Little bro, you better get going. I think I found her.”

The beautiful green mushroom cloud, the shrieks not too far away and the action of the passer-by getting ready to escape spells everything out clearly.

“This color, looks like bringing along the Dwarf Anti-Poison Mask is the correct decision… It looks like there is no doubt about it, there will be another member in the Gentleman Alliance.”

ps：这几天工作有些忙，搞得每天下班到家后才能开始码字，总是晚点…..明天应该会轻松点，争取爆发吧，又欠了三次爆发了。RT

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“…such as the Saint Kaesora and Dragon Knight Edwin”TL: I tried googling the names but I couldn’t find who the Saint and Dragon Knight is, so I will leave the names here so maybe someone who is familiar with these names could enlighten me. <贤者卡索拉、龙骑士埃德温>

Terminology edits:

God Pet -> God Beast