The Experimental Log of the Crazy Lich

The Elves, well-known for their beauty and longevity, lived inside the peaceful forest. They were pure, kind, and lived a simple and self-sufficient life. They typically lived in harmony with nature, but whenever this world is threatened by Evil, they would unhesitatingly rouse themselves for battle, and would fight to their last breath.

Only the children would believe such a fairy tale! If there was a race of such innocence and purity, they would have been exterminated long time ago, by any big war evolved from the stray projectiles from the crossfire.

In Eich, these long-eared folks were doing quite well. They might be beautiful, but they were definitely not kind and naively gullible as the legends suggested. As a powerful and prosperous race, some trickeries in the best interests of their race were inevitable.

“Pure and kind? Where do we find such Elves? In my perspective, the Elves are just a bunch of pretty long ears. Their beauty and longevity are undeniable, but obviously, they have nothing to do with purity and kindness. In fact, ego, brutality and belligerence are their three signature traits!”

Their ego could be justified by their historical background. As the race which had once occupied over seventy percent of the continent, and with their fellow Gods serving as the strongest divine system in the world, the Elves used to have it all. They had been treating the short-lived Humans as uncivilized vulgarians. Granted with an eternal life, well-established traditions, magic and martial arts, they treated all the other races with contempt.

Just like the Pixies, the Elves were divided into factions. The difference was, that all the Pixie members were on equal footing. In the contrary, the Elves practiced an extremely prejudicial hierarchic-cum-caste system, which was determined by their bloodline and could never be transcended.

Akin to the first generation of Humans, the High Elves once graced the earth with their golden footsteps, but they no longer exist. Nevertheless, their lineal descendants (creations), namely the Wood Elves, the Moon Elves, the Night Elves and Silver Elves became the Four Elven Aristocracies, which were superior to the common Elves. In this century, they had built their own kingdom, retaining their aristocratic status.

It was worth mentioning that Harloys, the Princess of the Ancient Elven Kingdom was actually the one who exterminated High Elves, the legendary golden Elves. Their remaining cultural heritage naturally became the treasure that all the Elven Kingdoms strived for. Besides, a lot of Elven royals were claiming themselves to be the true descendants of the Ancient Elven Kingdom.

Of course, even the Elves themselves were not convinced by their own tale. Like everyone, they would glorify their ancestors at times, but to believe such a tale would be a real stretch. It is indeed gratifying that the Simita race did not exist in this world.

Discrepancies always lie between legends and history. History tells us that the golden Elves were a paragon of virtue and perfection, but to think that Harloys was such a deplorable character, what a sickening truth! The prince was usually deviant, while the princess was either a fool or a flower vase*…just like the damned cat. (Speaking to the cat) You dare to bite me? I will load you up into the Goblin’s cannon and send you a thousand miles away. I mean it!

*(TL Note: In Chinese, the term “flower vase – 花瓶” is used informally describe a woman who is gorgeous but a good for nothing)

Sigh, where did I stop? Alright, since we have been darkening the name of Elves, next I will talk about the Dark Elves.

Now it’s really about Dark Elves* ! The Dark Elves actually emerged from the bizarre hierarchical system and regulations of the Elven race.

*(TL Note: In Chinese, the word “Dark – 黑” in the term “Dark Elves – 黑 精灵” means “dark” literally, and means “darkening” non-literally. The author is playing with words here, as the narrator actually spoke about the 黑 精灵 (Dark Elves) after he 黑 精灵 (darkened the name of Elves)

The Dark Elves were never in this world until the Night Elves were banished to the Underworld.

Lorci was banished by the fellow Elven Gods, while the Night Elves were banished by the other three Elven aristocracies. Why? It was said that they violated a taboo and hooked up with Chaos. I don’t know what the taboo it is, but considering the unusual antecedents of the Night Elves, they had probably altered their bloodline. Aside from God himself, the truth could be told by no one.

The Four Elven Aristocracies were the Superior Elves who carried the Silver bloodline (slightly inferior bloodline). Intermarriage between them had always been forbidden. In the era of Ancient Elven Kingdom, they had even banned inter-communication and accepting jobs, aside those stipulated by the race.

The Gold Elves were born to be royalty, while the Silver Elves were born to the warriors. On the other hand, the Wood Elves served as priests who had the ability to communicate with nature, while the Moon Elves served as the pivotal force of the government. Lastly were the Night Elves, they were in charge of all sort of underground activities.

As for the rest, like the Medium Elves, the Lower Elves, and the hybrid Wild Elves who were disdained, rejected by their own race, they were no more than vassals of the Four Elven Aristocracies. A majority of the Medium Elves and the Lower Elves belonged to the Bronze faction. The hybrid Wild Elves were usually the Blackmetal faction, but a precious few of them could be mutants whose power surpassed even the Superior Elves.

Even today, there are still some old fogeys practicing the law and order enforced by the Ancient Elven Kingdom, that the Four Elven Aristocracies must serve the Golden Elves, and all the other classes of Elves must serve the Four Elven Aristocracies. Such a hierarchy system was perceived as the root of the Elven society.

If a man’s fate is predetermined at the moment of his birth, the social progression is in deeper trouble. The gap between different classes would only get bigger, and the contradictions would only lurk beneath the surface, forever unresolved.

In short, the Superior Elves were always of Silver faction, whilst the common Elves belonged to either Bronze or Blackmetal. In the past, the Elves were much more powerful in contrast to Humans who had no distinction of classes. These advantages led to their contempt for the other races. The only shackle restraining them was their low fertility rate and slow growth period.

This is why a Wild Elf like Krose would feel out of place while facing a Wood Elf like Kelly. The Wood Elves were not as mighty as they were, but the formality that flows with her blood, would naturally bring out her discomfort before the Superior Elves.

A social hierarchy like this would definitely come along with a latent fatal risk. Ever since the Ancient Elven Kingdom vanished, and the Golden Elves were extinct, the Four Elven Aristocracies naturally became the top of the pyramid. For one kingdom with four rulers, the dissolution was only a matter of time!

With four Elven Gods in command, conflicts and division were inevitable. As spoken by Harloys herself who was full of resentment, the fall of Ancient Elven Kingdom and division of the Elves were closely related to the fellow Gods of Order, especially the fellow Elven gods.

I have to emphasize that they were asking for it. As one ancient species, Golden Elves could not care less for their descendant Gods, “You were once my vassal, how dare you disregard me right after turning into Gods?” With such ideology going widespread, the true Gods would disregard anyone.

Ironically, this was the how the Elves declined from their golden age, but the rise of Humans would never come without their internal strife.

Let us skip the long chapters and look into the outcome of a series of misfortunes. As the Golden Elves no longer existed, the Elven race was divided into hundreds of kingdoms, scattered all over the world.

The four Superior Elves were having a rough time as well. The Night Elves were banished from the rest altogether, turning into the Dark Elves of the Underworld. The Moon Elves and The Silver Elves might be the primary royal forces in every Elven Kingdom, but there was always bad blood between the two families.

As far as I knew, there were several Elven Kingdoms in the northwest border region, which were ruled by the Moon Elves. They belonged to one of the four Elven families, who had been declaring themselves as the true lineal descendants of the Ancient Elven Kingdom.

In the Northern land, I’m afraid there is no one who knows the Elves better than me, and that knowledge stemmed from rather nefarious intent. Your nemesis always knows you the best, and there were years of deep enmity between the Elves and myself.

One thousand seven hundred years ago, the Human’s victory in the last sacred war awarded them with the richest land on the continent. However, the defeated races were in suffering. The Aqua tribe descended to the deep sea and were reduced to the Sea tribe, whilst the Beastmen were driven away to the northern iceland. As for the Protectors of Order like the Humans however, the Elves had no choice but to move their kingdoms to the remote region under the compulsion of the Humans.

“Allies? Would allies send you to the remote region and into the woods? Would they form a hunting party to catch your people and make them best-sellers in the market of slaves? Would allies disregard you after absorbing your magic and knowledge? Would they seize your resource supplies and trade petty salt for your magical craft?

Without mention any more subtexts, I will conclude that the entire race of Humans was indeed nasty. A single reason like trading their people into slavery was more than enough to tread heavily on the Elves’ toes.

The crowds of royal peers loved to enslave the Elves for the sake of pride and pleasure, their filthy hands even clambering up to the Superior Elves’ bodies. The charming Wood Elves, the innocent Moon Elves, and the lively Silver Elves also had the experience of being sold at auctions for an extortionate price, a price which was never seen before. Such an event had led to several wars.

The Elves were unlike the Humans who lived up to only a hundred. Unfortunately, they were also renowned for having eidetic memories,which caused them to bear a myriad of hatred and grudges over centuries. For the Elves, the grudges built up three generation ago were just like yesterday. If their enemies were dead, they would take revenge on their descendents or countrymen. If none of these existed too, their vengeance would fall on the Human race in general.

The resentment which had been simmering for too long would eventually burst out, but in a time of peace, it would not be heavily surveyed by the fellow Gods of Order. Besides, the Human Gods who were the majority of Gods of Orders would treat the matter with injustice like how they usually did.

Hence, this explosion of resentment would die out quickly. Only when the last obstacle, the fellow Elven Gods, agree to switch their side, only then would there be nothing to stop the hostility between the two races.

Betraying their own people would not be a big deal for the Elven Gods as they had even turned against their former masters. Loyalty was meaningless for someone who had a history riddled with treacheries. It merely depends on what their opponents could offer.

The discerning spectators could have speculated the facts I were telling. But, I have one more here, which emerged from my own investigation.

“Key of the Moon Plan.”

Such a beautiful name with such a simple meaning, which was literally “a plan to open the door”. The main target of the plan was to prepare for the sacred war, and open the gate to the Central Plains.

Three hundred years ago, the Northern gate was surrounded by a mighty kingdom. As for the Elves, it was just like yesterday…

The fall of the Mist Kingdom went according to the Elves’ conspiracy, as the Cardinals who had desired to kill me got a visit from two slaves of Silver Elves. It was never the strong enemies who destroyed the Mist Kingdom, but the backstabbing of a few Humans Kingdoms, together with none other than the “pure and kind” Elven allies.

It was never a cinch to knock down that Kingdom, a lot of colluding between the insidious parties was just enough to deal minor damage, which caused a chain reaction that eventually led to the fall of Mist KIngdom.

My second incarnation was Roland Charname, the Black Handed Baron. As the surname Charname had spoken, my mission was to investigate the insider news. Unfortunately, I was murdered during the mission by the Elven Kingdom armies.

It was not until my third incarnation, Rolo, that I finally traveled across numerous Elven Kingdoms, and gathered sufficient information from their database and libraries. Several times, I had even stepped into their palaces.

Only with all these efforts, it came the time for the mad revenge of Yongye’s Army. My first target was absolutely the Elven Kingdom! At the height of madness, even the forbidden curse of destruction, which had been used on the Humans in hesitance, was cast directly on the Elves without mercy. The entire Elven Kingdom was then crushed within the curse.

Looking at their vindictive nature, I was afraid I would top their Wanted list for a perpetual period of time. Revenge against me was inevitable.

Never judge a book by its cover, I had always been wary of the Elves. On hearing the news that the Wolf King was marching to the west, I had dispatched my troopers and spies towards there. Meanwhile, my informants in the Elves had brought me sufficient information.

“I have been here for three days, waiting for my informants. The Moon Glaive Army of the Tassel Elven Kingdom have moved away from their camp, eastwards, similar to the other Elven kingdoms. Do you think the long ears are coming to our assistance?”

There must some clues to the secret activities within the Elven Kingdom. The Gods of Law had been watching over the conspiracies between the fellow Elven gods and the Gods of Chaos. Owing to the frequent notice and warning by the cathedrals, everyone was astonished by my judgment, and without even suspecting it, they started to think about the next step.

“How is this possible? The Elves and the Beastmen are bitter enemies!”

“You fool! Two enemies are allies in front of a common enemy. And what are allies? Ask those Elven slaves in your house.”

“Not all the Elves wanted to fall out with the Humans. Was it a clan, or just a tribe?”

“Please validate the truth before jumping to the verdict. Your majesty, it was not a query, but could you provide more relevant information?”

I turned abruptly and walked away from the clamour.

The information I had thrown meant a lot, which will definitely keep the leaders of all countries occupied for validation, organization, and reporting. By then, their reckless march would be stopped, and my target was achieved.

In such chaos, I was not interested to carry out any discussions, as I had a lot of things in hand, I did not have the mood and time for them.

I would not count on these guys, and the Borealis was arriving soon. With these reinforcements, this time, we shall hold nothing back! The new weapons, the new tactics, and the new soldiers, will bring about a new world. Let this inevitable war be my experimental plot! (To be continued)

TL Notes

1. In Chinese, the word “Charname – 查内姆” is homophonic to the word “查内幕”, which means “investigate the insider news”)