The Experimental Log of the Crazy Lich

The empty air and wide-open seas were the cradle of life, and in the midst of thunder and gales, the original seeds of life were tossed into the sea. After these young lives matured and evolved to a certain extent, they began going ashore to search for new homes.

Of course, that was just the scientific explanation for the origin of the world in my past life. It was the most popular and accepted of all the scientific explanations, but as for whether that was truly the case, nobody knew.

As for creationism stories that were fantastical or magical in nature, there were many similarities among them.

Every creationism story was largely similar. Among them all, “creating humans from dirt” was probably the most common factor. In New Zealand’s creationism tales, the native tribes believed that a God created humans with the mix of his own blood and red soil. In the Bible, God created the first man Adam using the dirt from the ground, and then created the first woman Eve using Adam’s rib. Noah had tossed a stone behind himself after the great flood and his son had appeared. But, the most famous creationism story of all in my former country of China was the Asian tale of Nuwa creating humans by mixing mud and water.

In this world, I didn’t know if Eich used a similar method to create life, but since the entire world was crafted using the four elements as the foundation, the lives here were doubtlessly created from the gathering of the elements.

And, right now, in my world, that mythical event of creation was being reenacted.

The ice mountains and icy plains began to melt, and the thick layers of ice transformed into water. The endless amounts of water transformed into rivers, the rivers gathered into lakes, and the lakes eventually formed into oceans.

This was to be a world with water as its foundation, copying the prehistoric version of my past world.

Sidunwar’s ancient God Equipment, the Ocean Bottle, provided the source for the ocean. Blue could be seen everywhere, just like the torrential flood from numerous creation myths.

There was no wind, no waves, and not even any sound. Everything was silent, or perhaps I could even describe it as dead silent. No matter which direction I looked in, there was nothing but the ocean. It seemed to be too peaceful.

But when the white crystal shard of the Elemental Throne was added to and combined with my world, the entire ocean started frothing, with countless bubbles arising. Next, tan stone plates started slowly rising from the water, and continental lands that split the oceans finally appeared.

Everything was being created in Chaos that lacked all Order. With evolution and destruction, this land was newly covered in ice and snow again, and this fantastical world of mine was now much closer to reality.

The Earth Elemental Throne’s shard was just like the mythical dirt in creation tales that could grow by itself with only the nourishment of the wind. It transformed into the foundation to control the seas. As the core of my world, it was continuously creating new continents.

Time passed and eons cycled by. The second Ice Age had now descended upon my world.

This time, there were no longer countless layers of ice underneath the endless icy plains. The distant ice mountains and ice rivers also had true earth underneath them now. Since two out of four pillars necessary for constructing a world had been completed, this world of mine was now moving towards reality from just being an isolated dimension.

Previously, I could even see dimensional tears at the edges of my world, but now that the earth element, which was the foundational underlying element of the world, had arrived, the space had finally stabilized.

However, I was shocked by this scene.

“…I just wanted to create a small world, so what’s with this scene that seems like it’s on such a grand scale? Did I unknowingly do something incredible?”

I could sense that this entire world was related to me. My will could reach anywhere here. It could cause ice rivers to melt, reverse the flow of rivers, or split apart continents, but I instinctively rejected all of this.

“Don’t interfere with this and allow things to evolve naturally.” A mysterious will suddenly sounded in my mind, and I felt as if some presence was watching me.

I was rather confused and surprised… and then I was actually kicked out! I was actually kicked out of my own world!

[System Notification: You didn’t listen when I asked nicely. You forced me to be rough with you. The server is currently under maintenance, and remember to read all patch notes while it’s undergoing maintenance. Right now, just go where you’re supposed to go. Make sure to get plenty of sunshine, or you’re going to have to be careful of growing mushrooms on your head.]

Alright, I knew that it had to be the work of my shameless System. It was basically calling me a hermit otaku who would die if I saw sunlight, even though I was obviously supposed to be a direct, sunny, exercise-loving boy who all the neighbors praised for being a good man at home and a good employee at work, with friendly relationships with everyone.

“…You actually dare to say that? There are enough people that have suffered because of you to make two entire armies. Just now, you were fighting with Emordilorcan and deceiving him so that he could fall into your trap; no matter how you look at it, you’re the real antagonist.”

The black cat on my shoulder had woken up from her long sleep, but what was with her commenting on me the instant she woke up? Teacher Harloys, is your value in life to only comment on others’ situations now?

[The server is currently undergoing maintenance. Estimated Reopening Time: 1.5 months later. System Reminder: Don’t take the server opening time seriously, I’m just saying it casually. Do you know any game’s server that actually opened up on time? As a longtime gamer who’s already become numb from this, you should learn how to optimistically accept a continuous wave of announcements regarding the server opening up later than expected. What? You don’t want to accept it? Alright, you can go try playing real-life PK against the employees of that game company.]

As always, I instantly decided to ignore my system. What attracted my attention was instead the numbers that were of the same format as before.

[Completion rate: ?%. Fate Points: 43201]

The completion rate was actually a question mark. It seemed that even my system didn’t know when this would be completed, but judging from the much slower rate at which my Fate Points vanished compared to last time, I wouldn’t be needing to hurry and finish as many quests as I could for points this time.

“It seems that allowing my world to change itself without forceful interference from me like last time will use fewer Fate Points. Hmm? Where did I get all these Fate Points from?”

Only now did I finally have some free time to inspect the system notifications that had been piling up, gathering dust in the corner.

[Congratulations to Host for single-handedly slaying Emordilorcan. You have obtained the SemiGod Equipment “Roaring Armlet of the Earth,” SemiGod Equipment “Emordilorcan’s Wall of Sighs” (Epic-level shield), as well as the God-level material “Shard from the Earth Elemental Throne.” Since this slaying wasn’t a specific quest from the system, no Fate Points shall be rewarded as per the System’s rules.]

[Congratulations to Host for single-handedly slaying a True God level existence. You have now activated the “Enemy of the Gods” series of achievements. You have now obtained the glorious title of “One Who Loathes the Gods,” and 50,000 Fate Points have been rewarded. If you equip this title, you will become a beginner-level enemy of the Gods and will receive a 5% damage bonus against all Gods. The next step of this series of achievements is to single-handedly slay three True Gods, which will award you the title “Slaughterer of Gods” and make you into a mid-level enemy of the Gods. You will also receive a 15% damage bonus against all Gods.]

[After you single-handedly slay ten True Gods (including one Main God), you can reach the peak of this series of achievement, “Enemy of all Gods.” You’ll also receive the title “Kratos Isn’t Food For the Gods, He’s The Daddy of the Gods!” as well as a 50% damage bonus against all Gods. However, after you equip this title, all Gods will have their friendship levels with you set to zero, and you can’t hide this title. You won’t be able to stop slaying Gods even if you don’t want to.] [1] 1

Alright then, let us ignore these random comments. It seemed that I did a fairly good job this time. The System indeed rewarded me handsomely this time and was quite helpful as well. Not only did I obtain two excellent pieces of equipment, I obtained Fate Points from slaying Emordilorcan in a circuitous fashion. And as for those “Enemy of the Gods” achievements, they were the rarest of the rare, titles that seemed incredibly useful… speaking of usefulness, I suddenly recalled the damned achievements “Jinxed” and “King of all Gentlemen” that I couldn’t even turn off. The number of gentlemen had been increasing more and more these days, and they were also increasing in shamelessness. Perhaps, this suffering was all the result of my System.

But, right now, another trouble was before me.

[Warning: Sidunwar’s Ocean Bottle’s power level is unstable. Please hurry and complete the quest to hunt down the Sea Gods and collect sea-related divine power from the Sea Gods and sea beasts as quickly as possible. This will both complete this God Equipment’s form for the revival God Quest and help fully construct your world.]

It seemed that after the Earth Elemental God’s body and the Earth Elemental Throne’s shard were both absorbed into my “Frigidwinter Earth,” the already fragile balance between elements there was once again shattered. Although this was a good thing for my “Frigidwinter Earth” world, hunting down the sea beasts and Sea Gods was probably going to be another bothersome task.

What attracted me the most were the two equipment that I received. Real life was no game, and not every boss would carry around a large sack of weapons and equipment that he couldn’t even use, not to mention dropping a few of the equipment randomly out of a list. For a rather long time now, no matter who I defeated, I hadn’t received any equipment.

You want equipment from your enemy? Just take it off your enemy’s corpse. There was no Blackhand in real life… what the system could give me was a mess of materials; it merely helped me save time in gathering them.

But just glancing at the two equipment, I knew what was going on.

[Roaring Armlet of the Earth. SemiGod Equipment.]

[Effect 1: Power of the Earth: Absorb the power of the earth element and increase the Strength of the wearer by 10. However, the wearer must be standing on the ground. The Strength increase effect will disappear while the wearer is jumping or flying.]

[Effect 2: Indestructible Stone: This Armlet is indestructible, and can even block God Equipment’s attacks. If this Armlet is significantly damaged, it can even repair itself.]

[Effect 3: Dimensional Flash: A short, precise instantaneous transportation. (3 minutes cooldown and the maximum distance is one hundred meters). System Notification: Using this ability will use up a large amount of stamina. Please use this ability with care.]

[Divine Curse: Petrify. Emordilorcan is cursing his enemy that stole his power. Every second, the wearer of this Armlet will receive one earth damage. If the damage taken from this effect surpasses 70% of the wearer’s maximum HP, the wearer will be turned to stone by the endless absorption of the earth element.]

[There is a row of yellow words carved into this armlet: “This Armlet contains the Divine Spirit of an undying God. Just touching it can make one sense this God’s past strength and unwillingness to die.]

This gray-black armlet appeared quite ordinary, and the scaly pieces on it resembled Emordilorcan’s skin. There were also two black stones that resembled eyes on top of the armlet. While these “eyes” seemed to be made of stone, when I touched them, I discovered that they were actually warm and as soft as skin, as if they were living.

As a SemiGod Equipment, its abilities weren’t that numerous, but its effects were incredibly useful. All of Emordilorcan’s strongest abilities were contained within it. Significantly increasing strength was excellent for any melee warrior; its indestructible quality could overturn a situation at a critical point by blocking one attack, and that flash ability was already proven quite powerful by Emordilorcan himself.

While that Divine Curse on it was indeed troublesome as it limited the time that this Equipment could be used for, since I had a titan’s body and was immune to the damage, I could simply ignore it.

“It seems that just like that God Equipment dagger from before, my System can create strong equipment out of God-level existences using their divine power and Divine Spirits. Looking at these stats, it’s almost as if it was custom-made just for me.”

I joyfully put on the armlet and felt a noticeable increase in my strength, which caused me to laugh out loud in satisfaction. Strength was forever the foundation of any melee combat class, and I’ve never even heard before of such an equipment that could increase physical power by so much.

“Perhaps I can finally compare my Strength to Amelia’s.”

As for the other Epic-level shield, it was a tower shield which could cover most of my body. Its shape resembled Emordilorcan’s face, and there were also stones resembling eyes on it which seemed to be staring at me. It was somewhat pitiful to look at.

When I checked out the shield’s stats, they were similarly practical. Mega-high defense combined with the most practical ability of damage reduction, and even an attacking ability that could surprise an opponent.

After some consideration, I decided to personally use this shield as well. After all, while fighting with Emordilorcan, every time I exchanged blows with him, I was injured to the point of spitting blood. This made me feel like my defense was indeed rather weak if I had to face another opponent on his level.

“This was such a rare abundant harvest. Did my system change its personality, and it’s now going to help me become the main character of a harem story?”

[System Reminder: With great power comes great responsibility. The greater your power, the stronger your opponents. The System shall never make any traps for you; you’re the one who’s digging pits and jumping into them by yourself. Is it the System’s fault that you’re forever shooting yourself in the foot?]

Fine then, my expression instantly darkened. This bastard system was making it obvious that it still intended to make me suffer. It couldn’t even let me be happy for two days.

“Indeed, it was an abundant harvest.”

The black cat crouching on my shoulder was laughing in even greater delight than I was, and the next moment, I understood what she meant by that.

The black cat reached out her claw and vanished in a spatial distortion. What appeared before me was an incredibly beautiful blonde high elf.

Her silky blonde hair was lifted by the wind, and her lightly smiling pretty face seemed to be as pure as snow. Her snow-white skin seemed to have a faint golden glow, and those innocent eyes seemed pure enough to make anyone’s heart ache and believe that she was as pure as unblemished snow.

She was wearing ancient traditional white ceremonial clothing with a long scarf that reached the ground. Her extravagant robes seemed so beautiful that they were holy, and they indisputably added to Harloys’ aura of unearthliness. At this moment, the person before me wasn’t that banshee who was absolutely shameless and lacked any limits, but rather the last princess of the ancient high elf empire.

“This is a golden high elf? This is the allure of utmost pureness?”

As expected of the most beautiful of all elven tribes. At this moment, even my heart skipped a beat. Although I had seen the most seductive succubi before, I’d never witnessed this type of alluring pureness that would make any person easily succumb.

It was just like how I had been forcefully sent back to my body where I had died in combat. When Harloys obtained life again, the magic of time helped return her to her past, to that generation where this young female elf had the power of obtaining everything through her charisma alone.

When I recalled that inside her was the thousand-year-old banshee Harloys, I managed to calm down.

She smiled ever so sweetly at me, seemingly filled with sincerity.

“Thank you so much. I shall remember this debt I owe you.”

That, however, made me feel dazed and angered. I furiously pointed and shouted at the elven beauty!

“You fake! Who the hell are you! Old witch Harloys would never thank anyone! Nor could she possibly smile so sweetly. Ahhh! I’m getting goosebumps all over. What manner of demon are you?! Hurry up and show your true form!”

Right then and there, Harloys was so enraged that her eyebrows twitched, but she managed to suppress her anger somehow by taking two deep breaths. She forced another smile.

“Ha ha, you’re such a jokester. Who could I be if not Harloys? You forgot already that I was the last gold elf? This form is how I looked like before I died.”

Were the ancient gold elves supposed to all be an average of over two meters tall? Harloys appeared to have the perfect golden ratio, beautiful and lively with wonderful curves, yet she seemingly didn’t lose her elegance. She also possessed an unscientifically large chest, completely different from any other elf, which far surpassed that of any supermodel’s. The most ridiculous of all was Harloys’ height, however. She had to look down in order to meet my eyes when I was already 1.8 meters tall!

“Objection! If you didn’t mention it, I would have forgotten it. Weren’t you still quite young when you died? Who do you think you’re fooling!? Order for my magical pet: strip off your disguise!”

I instantly realized it when she reminded me of her death. She was definitely making this appearance up. She most likely crafted this appearance using her transformation ability.

Her magical pet contract with me wasn’t canceled with Harloys’ return to life, but it was rather the opposite. Since she had now combined with Shadow, the singular contract now became a dual contract, which actually solidified her connection to me. If I gave her any order at all, she would be forced to carry it out.

“Roland, you bastard! This is my expected mature form, don’t…”

The order had already been given to my magical pet, and so, a sudden flash occurred as she was forced to return to her true form. After the light dissipated, the great beauty disappeared to reveal a blonde child elf before me, whose long hair was all tangled on the floor. Her overly large ceremonial clothing was falling off, and her exquisitely small face was filled with anger and was as red as an apple. Even her elf ears that were a symbol of her race were completely red. It was quite interesting. Yep, at least to me, it was very amusing.

“Alright, you’re flat, flat, and flat. Only this is believable. This is the Harloys that I know.”

I made comparisons in satisfaction as I walked around her while nodding. I forced her to perform various exercises like lifting her hands up to the sky and windmills to turn around and around, making her furious and embarrassed.

When Harloys was dizzy to the point that she laid down listlessly, I lowered my head and looked her in the eyes at ground level, before finishing by patting her head.

“Yep, the tall adult Harloys is too unscientific. The short one looks much better. My little friend Harloys, can I interest you in some candy?”

*Kacha!*

“…Don’t bite me! Hey hey, let go! It hurts, it hurts! Let go! Are you supposed to be a dog!”

“You bastard lolicon! You’re a bastard who deserves to be single forever!” A grim voice escaped from her tiny mouth, and she actually managed to even transform her teeth into tiger fangs!

Fine then, let me put everything else aside for the moment, as I first needed to put some effort into removing the “gloves” on my hand.

Note:

1. Kratos appears to be a God of War reference.