The Experimental Log of the Crazy Lich

While the Northlands were still in the midst of frigid weather, the central plains of Eich were experiencing the warmth of spring.

Right now, in the Royal Palace of the Bardi Empire, the elderly emperor was in the garden, waiting for a scheduled visitor.

Emperor Orloss Mossivory Saint Milan was a silver-haired, elderly man with a kindly appearance. He was on the short side, and he never spoke loudly. He appeared to have a scholarly aura about him, which made him seem like an academic that would be easy to get along with, but within the Bardi Empire, he had the “glorious nickname” of “Sly Fox Scorpion Emperor.” This referred to how he was vicious both domestically and internationally.

What? You’re saying you don’t understand what that meant? “As long as the result is good, the ends justify the means” was what he lived by, and he indeed always followed through with this.

Domestically, within the Bardi Empire, he used assassinations, set factions against each other, and framed and scammed others to centralize and solidify his authority. Internationally, he betrayed endless amounts of alliances and agreements for the Bardi Empire’s benefit. This gave him another so-called “glorious nickname” of “Emperor of Zero Trustworthiness,” making the current Bardi Empire lose every single one of its allies to the point that it had now zero remaining allies.

However, there were gains to be had in exchange for those losses. While he ruined the honor and trustworthiness that the Bardi Empire had accumulated over countless centuries, the Bardi Empire’s national strength had indeed reached its greatest peak in history. Within the first fifty years of Orloss’ reign, the Bardi Empire had conquered and assimilated seventeen different small and medium-sized countries, greatly expanding their borders and population.

“Ever since I ascended the throne, war has never stopped.”

At first, this phrase said by Orloss was an exclamation at how helpless he was when he first came to power. However, as the years passed, it became his pride. He had won many wars without a single loss.

From another aspect, the continuous chain of victorious campaigns against other countries increased the royal authority. The major nobles within the Bardi Empire were extremely respectful of royal authority, and actually, all the major nobles would send extravagant presents to the elderly emperor every year for his birthday. Each domain lord’s heir would even come to the capital to learn from the royalty (to be hostages).

Yep, the ones that refused to give hostages or show respect on the surface had all died; the domestic situation was thoroughly peaceful. This was most likely the greatest peak of royal authority in the Bardi Empire’s history for at least the past three thousand years.

However, those were merely the achievements in his early and middle years. In his later years, he was even more incredible. He used only thirty years’ time to accomplish what would typically take one hundred years.

He created a national military department that unified and centralized the system of command for all military affairs within the Bardi Empire. Every domain lord had to now be conscripted into the military to serve for a set period of time. Those who tried to escape the conscription would be executed. Any nobles who owed or paid taxes late would be executed.

The government took full control of salt, food, iron, and all important daily life and production products, and was the only organization allowed to sell them. Anyone caught smuggling or selling those products would be executed.

The government took control of civilian adventurers and job classes. Every job class must register themselves, and every adventurer’s guild and adventurer had to swear fealty to the royalty. Every adventurer was considered the Bardi Empire’s resource—they had to unconditionally accept the country’s commands in emergency situations. Unlicensed adventurers were forbidden, including mages, and would be publicly executed.

It had to be admitted that Orloss ruled with an iron fist. He had ascended the throne during a period of extreme turmoil within the Bardi Empire, but he gave it his all and helped the Bardi Empire to rise to its greatest apex in history, even if his personal reputation was in tatters and he was now infamous for being completely insincere and untrustworthy.

Countless numbers of people both within and outside the Bardi Empire wished for his death. Every year, the number of assassins aiming for his life were numerous enough to make a fixed schedule out of without a single break… But even those who hated him to death had to admit that he was indeed a strong ruler, who had helped the Bardi Empire become similarly strong.

The government’s monopolization of important resources and control over the market had indeed caused a lot of hatred, but the current Bardi Empire’s wealth was unimaginable. Every year, their allotted military expenditures were three times all the neighboring countries’ military expenditures combined, but the national treasury wasn’t even slightly burdened by this. It wasn’t limited to that—the Bardi Empire hadn’t experienced a large-scale famine due to food shortages in several decades, and its population and the flourishment of its cities had also reached the apex.

As for turning the originally neutral adventurers and mercenaries into national property? This had received a huge backlash at first, but because the royal authority and the military were backing this up, after the original generation died, all the waves had quieted down. The new generation of adventurers already believed that working for the country was only natural. Even the rarer job classes like mages would go and register of their own volition to become part of the government.

This was doubtlessly a declaration of war against the old systems, and it naturally angered many neutral organizations such as the adventurers’ guilds, mercenary guilds, mage conferences, various churches, and so on. However, for Orloss Mossivory, resistance against his policies and attempted assassinations were a daily occurrence to him; it was as normal as eating a meal. His powerful personal guards, which nobody knew the identities of, had never disappointed him. Even SemiGod level assassins had fallen to his guards, and Orloss was never one to fear any enemy’s challenge.

However, on the other hand of things, besides the Bardi Empire’s flourishment, there were indeed numerous complaints piling up within the country. Countless wished him dead, and plenty wished for the Bardi Empire to return to its past ways. The way that schemers looked at things was that this seemingly powerful country still didn’t have a solid foundation and was shaking in the rainstorm, its collapse only a matter of time.

The biggest and most foundational problem was that Orloss the Thirteenth didn’t have a single descendant.

Perhaps it was because he was injured in his early years, or perhaps it was karma for his wicked ways. But no matter which description you believed, even though he had countless concubines, he had never begotten a single child. In fact, two of his concubines had gotten pregnant before, but he fed both of them to his dogs on the very next day. After that, rumors that the Bardi Emperor was infertile and that Orloss would never have a descendant began spreading everywhere.

Of course, he had tried to resolve this problem; he had taken in a large number of adopted sons and daughters. But as the years passed, his roughly forty adopted children only now had around twenty surviving. Due to Orloss’s extremely paranoid personality, all the ones who were too strong or too smart would be executed, but it was unrealistic for any of the remaining survivors to be chosen as the successor as it would be too difficult to have all the factions accept that person.

The oldest adopted prince, Carlston, was already in his fifties, but he appeared even older than Emperor Orloss. The only reason he was able to survive until now was because he was basically useless; he did not possess the ambition of his fellow adopted princes, nor did he desire to become emperor while he was still alive.

In the mortal plane, there was an unspoken rule. Rulers would definitely be short-lived, as the Gods wouldn’t permit an immortal ruler. If there was a ruler who lived to a hundred years and still grasped on tightly to his reins of power, then the punishment of the Gods would surely descend upon him.

“Orloss is over seventy years old, and he probably doesn’t have much time left. Let’s just wait for his death, and then…”

Plenty of those with ambition secretly gritted their teeth as they waited for this old emperor to die of old age. These people included not only the people outside his family, but also his own similarly elderly siblings, who had wanted him to die for so long. If the emperor died, then Bardi’s territories would immediately be carved up and re-divided by all the factions.

“It won’t be long now; it should be soon. He’s never practiced any martial arts or magic before, so he’s only hanging on with the help of medicine. Perhaps he’ll even die tomorrow.”

Yet today, this aging emperor, who seemed to others to be about to meet his end soon, had welcomed his guest that he had been waiting so long for. This person was wearing a black cape and was led into the old emperor’s garden by the royal guards.

“Emperor Aso, your personal arrival is the honor of our entire Bardi Empire. Unfortunately, it’s still not a suitable time to publicize the relationship between us, and I’m unable to welcome you with an abundant feast.”

The elderly emperor stashed away his pride as a ruler and hurriedly rose to his feet to personally welcome this nighttime visitor. This was because the black-cloaked individual before him was an even more ancient, respected, and undying king.

However, Emperor Aso didn’t intend to mince words despite Orloss’ hearty welcome. Every minute in the mortal plane was painful for him, and he unhesitatingly began with the main topic.

“No need. We never cared about useless trifles like those to begin with. The only thing that could possibly motivate me to come here is concrete benefits. Now then, young ruler, have you made your decision? Will you decide to truly embrace death, and become one of us, thus obtaining true immortality?”

A sudden chilly breeze blew past and exposed the true face beneath that long cape and large hood. Or, perhaps it should be said that there was no face at all. The burning, green flames within that skull explained everything.

For an undead to be called an emperor could only mean one of those legendary Undead Emperors. In front of these ancient emperors from the Undead Plane, even the recent generation of Gods were nothing but their juniors.

Emperor Aso had placed countless chains and seals upon his own body, but even so, the bare hints of the power of death emanating from him were sufficient to cause black winds to roil up within the royal garden. Large amounts of plants instantly withered to death, and the earth began to be drained of life. Underneath the ground, faint signs of white bones started to animate themselves.

In front of something so fearsome that any hero would cower, Orloss, who was still a mere mortal, laughed.

“Of course! Everybody knows that I, Orloss, am the most trustworthy person around. Ever since you saved me thirty years ago, from the time that the ancient contract was established, our agreement would be forever in effect.”

Orloss the Thirteenth also opened up his extravagant clothing to reveal his upper body. Where his stomach should have been was a partially empty space; his heart was nothing more than pitch-black bones and rotten flesh, and even the most expensive silver rose perfume was unable to cover the stench of rotting flesh.

Despite the fact that his body was disgusting, Orloss’s smile remained, as if he didn’t feel any pain at all. Only the wrinkles around his eyes made him seem slightly grim.

“I’ve already been a living dead man for more than thirty years, so have I ever had any other choice since that day?”

…

Unlike the south, which had long hours of daylight, the Northlands’ winter skies would always darken rather quickly, especially now that it was the end of winter. At the current moment, it was only six in the evening, but the entirety of Diffindor was in utter darkness.

The newest product of magical engineering, the magical lights, had already been given to every family as a new daily product for free. However, most families maintained their previous habits of eating dinner and going to their warm beds quite early in order to prepare to get up early the next morning.

The streets that had been so lively just a few hours ago were now practically empty. Either everyone was hiding in their warm homes or drinking themselves drunk in a bar or tavern. After all, even if it was already the end of winter, the night air was still fatally chilly. Although it was regrettable, there were always a few drunks that would be found frozen to death in the alleyways.

When the entire city was so quiet, in the southeast portion of Diffindor was an area containing a sealed-off three story building. In here, there was no difference between night and day, as it was always brightly lit and filled with clamors.

*Boom!* The most common would be various sounds of explosions. Judging by whether the ones flying through the air were gnome engineers or alchemists, one could easily tell which section was the alchemists’ experimental laboratory and which section was the engineers’ experimental laboratory.

In this sealed-off area’s corner, there was a blacksmith facility, which never stopped its clinging and clanging no matter if it was night or day.

And, right now, I was here as well, checking out the progress of an important job.

“Orange head, how’s the situation? What do you think of the quality of these mined materials? Is it sufficient?”

“These magical mined materials have a nice color to them. A few of our mines have also produced this type of top-level product. You probably purchased these from Auland, didn’t you?”

Old Hoyle continued in satisfaction after seeing me silently nod my head.

“If you can keep up the supply, then the progress will be successful. But aren’t you rushing it a little too much? With only three days’ time, we’ll only be able to produce a product that looks real on the surface. It’ll be able to run, jump, and resemble the real thing, but it definitely won’t be able to fight.”

“A fake product is fine with me.”

In order to show off our new weapons and equipment, what was most important was the design and the new technology within it. After all, our invited guests probably wouldn’t recognize real from fake; as long as we fooled them into ordering and giving us money, I would be able to establish real production lines with that money.

“…”

The wintry winds made this dwarf’s red nose even redder, but he swigged some alcohol with a dissatisfied expression and didn’t respond. For him to have to work overtime on a low-quality product as a veteran armorer, he was filled with quite a lot of dissatisfaction.

“Was it worth it? In order to find me, you searched through the entire red-light district.”

“Hmph! Don’t think so highly of yourself. It was just two birds with one stone. If you stayed here obediently and worked, you’d save me so much trouble. Just take a guess—if I tell all those brothers of yours that they were all locked up because of you, how would they treat you?”

“Those heartless bastards would tear me apart. You sly, skinny, and tall human, always picking on Old Hoyle’s weaknesses. Be careful your daughter won’t grow a beard.”

The dwarf puffed on his pipe as he cursed at me in dwarven fashion, before picking up his hammer and continuing his clinging and clanging.

Hoyle was a gray dwarf and master smith who was a specialist as an armorer. His nickname was Orange Head, and he was a member of the Gentlemen Alliance. He was the master smith that I trusted the most. After he started working together with the gnomes, his techniques improved even further; if I had to assess his current armor smithing level, it had probably surpassed any mortal master’s level, and was at a Legend’s level.

Leveling up in daily life job classes was far more difficult than leveling up in combat job classes. Legend-ranked combat job classes had their own Soul Imprints and unique paths, while Legend-ranked blacksmiths also had their own paths.

Hoyle’s path, however, was special, special to the point of being truly unique, special to the point where I really couldn’t do without him.

Currently, Old Hoyle was working on a gnome mecha in his blacksmith workshop. This wasn’t rare at all, since gnome bulldozers and mecha titans were already well-established engineering products, but the rare part about it was this mecha’s size.

It was 2.4 meters high, and the mecha’s weight was probably over 150 kilograms. If it wasn’t for the “Olive Magic Box” powering the engine that gave it its own source of energy, not even a beastman would have been able to wear such a heavy mecha armor.

Obsidian was embedded into the streamlined armor for protection. This special plating was for improving its defense and had a defense value well above a normal knight’s armor. Even a small gnome cannon would be unable to do more than a scratch.

Yes, this wasn’t a mechanical puppet; it was pure armor. Inside this would be a well-protected warrior, not a pilot controlling the mecha.

“Although this is a nice design, its problem is obvious. Without the ability to control the elements, you won’t be able to activate its magical circuits. Even if I specially create magic-enchanted parts for it, this will be nothing more than a hunk of useless metal without sufficient mana.”

“Relax! I have plenty under my command capable of controlling the elements. I’m giving you first priority for both funds and resources, so hurry up and finish the prototype. Make it capable of being mass-produced starting next month in the new year. I’ll find some fools to become the sponsors and first testers, so bravely create something new as you wish. Those ‘kind customers’ of ours will use their lives to bring you data of all sorts on your new product.”

Seeing how the old dwarf had fallen silent as he got into a working rhythm, I nodded in satisfaction. I touched this heavy armor’s solid plating and steel body.

“With this, my Four Elemental Swordcasters will be able to fight at three times their strength… Should I paint this red and install some horns on it?”

What determined how far a job class could go was not only its strengths, but more so its weaknesses.

The weakest part about the Four Elemental Swordcasters was their defensive ability, which was only at the level of a mortal’s. A fully matured Four Elemental Swordcaster would not only have to practice his magical swordsmanship, but he would have to work hard on learning to control the elements and studying sword seals and magical swordsmanship techniques. Expecting them to have the same physical melee combat ability as normal knights and warriors without relying on mana was unrealistic.

Their physical bodies’ comparative weakness and requirement of using mana meant that they could only be equipped with light armor. Compared to the muscleheads that could still move about freely while wearing heavy armor weighing several tens of kilograms, it was an obvious shortcoming.

On the battlefield, a weak defense would be fatal. Bows and arrows were always the most cost-effective weapons to kill people, and just about every single battle would involve arrows and other projectiles filling the skies. For a magical swordsman, who was so difficult to raise, to die to a single stray arrow or stone would be such a bad deal.

“The first produced group of armor will have high defense and high strength increasing properties for the wearer and will be focused on melee combat and short-term explosive strength. I shall call them the ‘Sith Warriors,’ and provide them all to the Four Elemental Swordcaster Silver Cross Squadron. The second group of armor shall have high mobility and medium defense, and will focus on sustained combat strength. I shall call them the ‘Stormtroopers’ [1] and provide them all to the magical ranged attackers and top-level hunters.”

In my blueprint for a perfect future, this future armored army would become well-organized formations involving magical mecha dragons, huge metallic titans, and countless mecha-armored warriors as the main forces. They would accompany me down my path of slaying demons and Gods, chasing the demons back to the Chaos Abyss, and kicking the Undead Emperors back to the Undead Plane.

“There will also be a firepower edition that I’ll call the ‘Tauren Space Marine,’ [2] and a Sword Saint specialized edition that I’ll call ‘Master of the Force.’ [3] Haha! I can already imagine the perfect upgraded editions.”

After the new generation’s magical mecha army was completed, I would nicely teach all these ancient existences that still lived in the Middle Age what “the newest technology is combat strength,” and “falling behind in technology means losing” really meant. But while I was busy with my imagination, someone’s voice intentionally—and happily—woke me up from my dream.

“Stop dreaming! These things of yours require incredibly high-level parts, and I’m the only one you have that’s capable of making them right now. Your local blacksmiths can’t even make a high-quality vegetable knife. Even if I work my hardest for you at top speed, making one of these every three months is already quick, and besides, even if I was able to go faster, would you be able to supply enough mined materials? Just by relying on those barbarian tribes’ scattered mines, you probably won’t be able to obtain enough materials even if you had ten years. You can probably buy ordinary mined materials, but it’s too hard to obtain magical mining materials. If you can’t obtain high-level mined materials, your mecha army will be nothing more than easy targets for thunder magic.”

I couldn’t help but furrow my eyebrows upon hearing this. Although it was quite displeasing to be interrupted in the middle of my beautiful dream, what he was saying was the truth.

I had already begun developing our mining, but the combat situation had been taking up all of my attention, not to mention that the Northlands were cold and lacked large scale mining machinery. Just the simplest and most direct method of using explosions to obtain some resources laying out in the open was already the limits of what we could do, and higher-level mining techniques were still undeveloped.

“It seems that I need to go visit that place. One mining area isn’t enough for us; we need to prepare some more. How about… I go extort more out of the Holy Church?”

Note:

1. Sith Warriors/Stormtroopers -> Star Wars reference.

2. This is a Starcraft 2 reference.

3. Master of the Force -> Star Wars reference.