I’m Really a Superstar

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Approaching 9 AM.

It was pouring heavily outside.

On the coffee table in the living room, the bottle of red wine was almost empty. The two of them had finished it very quickly and had about enough as well. They were a little tipsy after having so much, but was still alright. Zhang Ye had not intended to drink so much at all. Although he did not say it, he cared quite a lot for Old Zhang and was afraid that she would drink without restraint, so he drank a little more himself to lessen her drinking. He was actually also a little scared that Old Zhang would again become so drunk that she’d vomit all over the place like the first time he met her. That time was enough to keep Zhang Ye busy for the whole night just taking care of Old Zhang.

“Finished drinking?” said Zhang Ye with a smile.

Breathing normally, Zhang Yuanqi said, “Yes.”

Zhang Ye said, “If there’s no one to accompany you to drink in the future, feel free to come over. I might have been up to a fair share of things recently, but drinking is still something I can spare time for. As long as you, Sister Zhang says so, who am I to refuse?”

Zhang Ye knew she was busy with work recently, and mind you, it was not busy in the sense of a normal white-collared worker type of busy. It was a totally different concept altogether. Being at the level of an S-list celebrity, Old Zhang’s schedule was basically packed with activities throughout the year. Today, she might be flying off to Shanghai to film a music video, then in the afternoon, she would have to fly to the south again to do some outdoor shoots before flying back to Beijing at night to shoot a scene at the movie studios in the suburbs. A full day might mean anything up to 16 or 17 different activities all lined up one after the other, so the stress level and work intensity was surely imaginable. But of course, there must be a time to relax, a point where she could just drop everything and disappear to release all that pent-up stress, otherwise, she might really die from overwork.

She looked at Zhang Ye and said, “You’re really something.”

“Of course. I always treat friends well,” Zhang Ye said. “Not to mention that you and I have even fought through the enemy lines together, making us revolutionary comrades.”

She said, “That joke is lame.”

Zhang Ye: “…”

She put down her wine glass and said, “Alright, I’m done drinking.”

“Good, don’t drink too much.” Zhang Ye pointed to his own bedroom and said, “You have such dark circles under your eyes. Did you film late into the night yesterday? Do you want to take a short nap? I will go in and clean up a little.”

Old Zhang had come to Zhang Ye’s house today probably because she wanted to have a little to drink and also rest up, so she did not turn down his suggestion. “Alright, I will nap for an hour.”

Zhang Ye said, “How is an hour enough? You just need to be up before 4:30 PM since my parents do not eat lunch at home. Rest assured. You can sleep well.”

She asked, “No one visits your house, right?”

Zhang Ye smiled and said, “What visitors? Don’t worry, no one will come.”

Just as he finished saying that, a sound that struck terror into Zhang Ye’s heart came from behind him!

Ding dong.

It was the doorbell!

Someone was pressing the doorbell!

Zhang Yuanqi shot a glance at Zhang Ye while he was already breaking out into a cold sweat. He did not know who it was, so he kept quiet and pretended that there was no one home.

Then, his mother’s voice rang out from the door, “Little Ye, open up. I just went the market and I don’t want to find my keys since I am carry all these grocery bags.”

It was his mother!

Ding dong. The doorbell rang again.

Then his father’s voice also rang out, “Little Ye.”

Zhang Ye knew this spelled trouble. If they were just visitors, he could still have avoided them by pretending that no one was around, but since his parents had the keys with them, even if he didn’t open the door for them, they would still be able to get in. He didn’t know what else he could do anymore. Didn’t the two of them go to work? How did it end up with them having the day off and going to the market to buy groceries instead? Hai, he was still wondering why his mother and father did not leave any breakfast for him. Turned out it was because they had the day off, so they had gone out to get the groceries for breakfast!

Old Zhang looked at him and asked, “Didn’t you say there’d be nobody?”

Zhang Ye said worriedly, “I didn’t expect this either.”

“Think of a way,” she said as she pushed all responsibility onto him.

Dong dong.

They were still knocking on the door.

When Zhang Ye looked at Zhang Yuanqi’s outfit, he thought of how he wouldn’t be able to explain this no matter how hard he tried. If she were dressed normally, like earlier, it would still be easy to explain, but she was in a bathrobe right now and had obviously just come out of the shower. Even if he had a hundred mouths, he wouldn’t be able to clear this up!

“Little Ye? Are you awake yet?” His mother finally asked, and then said, “Forget it, I will open the door myself.”

Zhang Ye knew that he couldn’t delay opening the door anymore, so he shouted loudly at the door, “Mom, don’t! Let me open the door, let me do it instead. I will open it soon, wait a moment.” At least that delayed it a little more.

His mother acknowledged and said, “Hurry up then. Change into your clothes.”

Zhang Ye turned to Zhang Yuanqi to tell her to go into the bedroom. “Hide in my bedroom for now. Close the door.”

Old Zhang said, “My bag.”

“I will get it for you. Go in.” Zhang Ye speedily went into the bathroom and took all of Old Zhang’s cosmetics and threw them into her bag. He carried the bag out and dumped it in his bedroom, then quickly cleared the red wine bottle and wine glasses from the coffee table. But at this time, he heard the sound of keys clattering outside the door. Unsure if his parents were getting impatient of waiting and were intending to open the door on their own, Zhang Ye panicked and ran to his bedroom to close the door.

But just before the door shut, Old Zhang muttered, “The wet clothes are in the bathroom.”

The door closed.

Zhang Ye knew that there was no time to get the clothes anymore, so he ignored that for the moment as his parents would probably not be using the bathroom anytime soon. He would have to think of another way to retrieve the clothes later. Since it was just his parents coming home, he would have to handle them first. When there was a good opportunity, he would go and put away Old Zhang’s clothes before suggesting to them that he wanted something difficult to prepare for breakfast and let his parents busy themselves in the kitchen with it. Zhang Ye would then close the kitchen door and smuggle Zhang Yuanqi out of his house.

Whew.

That seemed like a good plan and it shouldn’t be a problem to execute.

In this short moment, Zhang Ye had already formulated a plan in his head. After being sure that he had left nothing to chance, his worries subsided as he regained his calm somewhat. He smiled and walked towards the door to welcome his parents home. He would just adapt his plans as the situation played out. It was no big deal. He was sure he could handle it.

The door swung open.

Then, Zhang Ye saw a scene that left him with his mouth wide open in shock!

His father was carrying two bags of vegetables as he walked into the house and said, “You’re awake?”

Behind him, his mother did not walk in yet but instead stood at the door and said to Zhang Ye, “Don’t sleep anymore. We have guests. They’re all our old neighbors. It has been so long since we had a gathering, so I called everyone over today.” She turned around and said, “Grandma Cui, come in quickly. Little Yan, are you an advertising major in university? It’s a good opportunity to chat with your Brother Zhang Ye.”

Grandma Cui stepped into the house and smiled. “Little Ye.”

Dumbfounded, Zhang Ye said, “Granny Cui.

Little Yan said a little stiffly, “Brother Zhang Ye.”

Zhang Ye continued to be dumbfounded. “Hey.”

Behind, another middle-aged man entered the house. “Little Ye, ha ha, I haven’t seen you around the district in over half a year now. Terrific, how terrific. You’re already a big celebrity now!”

Zhang Ye was still dumbfounded. “…Uncle Hu.”

Outside, another woman arrived. “Little Ye, still remember me? Back when you were in middle school, I always came over to your house here to play mahjong. ”

Zhang Ye kept staying dumbfounded. “…Auntie Yu.”

Then, behind her, a middle-aged man followed. “Ah, I haven’t seen you two in over 2 years now, Brother Zhang, Sister Cao. Your son is growing up and looking handsomer and handsomer now. Hmm, he takes after my Sister Cao!”

Zhang Ye: “…Uncle Wu.”

His mother laughed and said, “That’s true. If he took after our Old Zhang, no one would want him.”

The door of the neighbor opposite opened. “Yo, Old Cao, what’s going on here?”

His mother smiled and greeted her. “Sister Wang, hai, my husband and I went out to buy some groceries and we saw many of our old neighbors. We were just starting to do some catching up when it suddenly rained, so with the market a mess, we invited everyone up to our house for a chat. Is Brother Wang at home?”

Sister Wang said, “Yeah, he’s here.”

His mother insisted on inviting them as well. “Come over then, come to my place. We’ll have lunch together later. It won’t be awkward since we’re neighbors and know each other so well already.”

Grandma Cui also knew her. “Little Wang, come and join us.”

Sister Wang laughed. “Alrighty then, let me grab my husband.”

At this moment, it was as if many black lines had appeared on Zhang Ye’s forehead as he just stood there, dumbfounded and silly while looking at them!

But just at this moment, another of his neighbors’ doors also swung open and an old man between 60 and 70 years of age walked over while holding a cane. “Little Cao, you’re treating everyone to a meal here?”

His mother laughed. “Grandpa Liu, I was just about to go over and ask you to join us. Yes, we’re preparing lunch for everyone today, so of course you have to join us as well. Come in, quickly, come in. Let’s talk first.”

Grandpa Liu did not reject either as they had been neighbors for many decades now. With such a long running relationship, he definitely did not need to appear to be polite by rejecting the invitation. He said, “Sure. Then I shall respectfully obey. Oh right, my son’s puppy is also at my place.”

His mother said, “Flowers, right? Bring her along as well. I still have some leftover meat from yesterday that I can heat up for Flowers to eat.”

Grandpa Liu: “That’s great then. You’re saving me a lot of work here.”

His father greeted, “Come in quick. Take a seat, take a seat. I’ll go and get more chairs.”

His mother asked, “What tea would you like?”

“Water is fine.”

“Haha, do you have green tea?”

“Yes, yes, we have everything!”

“Then I’ll have a cup of green tea too.”

“I’d like a soda, please!”

The group of old neighbors were all gathered at Zhang Ye’s house!

A total of 12 people!

Yup. Oh, add a dog to that number as well!

This tactical formation simply looked too spectacular as the 70 to 80 square meter house was fully filled with people. The volume and chatter of everyone made it sound even busier than the marketplace!

As Zhang Ye witnessed these people slowly packing his house, his chest seemingly burned as he nearly spit out a mouthful of blood that would have spewed 3 feet away, feeling like he would be better off if he just fainted there and then. No wonder his parents had kept knocking on the door even though they had their keys with them. It wasn’t just because they had a lot of things on their hands, but were instead actually worried that Zhang Ye might not have been properly dressed or in the bathroom. So in order to not inconvenience their guests with seeing what they should not see, they had knocked on the door to give a warning to Zhang Ye first!

Stay calm!

Zhang Ye, you need to stay calm!

Isn’t it just a few more people than you had previously planned for? This shouldn’t be a big deal at all. Just follow the plan accordingly and say that you want to get some breakfast. Call mom and dad into the kitchen and get them to prepare it for you. Then, go out into the living room and invite some of the neighbors into their room to talk before going back out to ask the other neighbors to stand by the window to enjoy the view outside while making sure they don’t turn around. Oh, right. There was also that dog that must be controlled. Maybe adding some sleeping pills into its food would let it…let it…

Let it, my ass!

Stay calm, your sister!

Whatever the plan, it was useless!

With so many people and so many pairs of eyes, even if I stuffed Zhang Yuanqi into my pants pocket, I couldn’t sneak her out! What the hell are you guys doing here? What special occasion is it today? Why did you all have to come here today of all days? Did all of you organize a sightseeing tour to come to my house! To come as a group to set me up!?