The Experimental Log of the Crazy Lich

In the East Mist Royal Palace, during the end of winter, Cardinal Soros’ Holy Church envoy group met with Princess Reyne and had a friendly and intimate discussion. Both sides exchanged their ideas regarding the current international situation, increased their understanding of each other, improved their friendship, and came to a mutual accord.

All of the above was obviously impossible.

First of all, let’s not mention the fact that the Holy Church group was still hesitating in their hotel and not requesting a formal meeting due to certain reasons. As for East Mist, only Kelly was the one dealing with anything official on the surface. Reyne and I were both avoiding them, and it was obvious that both sides lacked sincerity. At the very least, until I was fully prepared, I didn’t intend to meet them at all. They wanted to meet me in private? They’d have to find me first.

There was now less than a week until the scheduled “Day of Peace” celebration that I created for my birthday. The streets of Diffindor were filled with teeming hordes of people, and all the stores had begun draping colorful cloths and simple decorations. An atmosphere of a festival was already present.

If one looked carefully, expensive artistry and decorations couldn’t be seen anywhere due to the lack of resources and materials. To be as extravagant as the people in Auland in hanging jewelry on their trees was unimaginable, but the northerners had their own neat little tricks. If artificial scenery was insufficient, then the natural scenery was pretty good by itself.

Ice sculptures were seen everywhere, including sculptures of even legendary beasts from stories. There was a tall snow giant with a fierce expression and a white dragon that was spitting out dragonbreath and flapping its wings. Across from the white dragon was even a brave knight made of ice, rushing towards it. Since there were ice sculptures of all these monsters, of course there would be ice sculptures of heroes, both real and imagined as well.

There were icicles hanging from the eaves of all the stores, and these originally crystal-clear icicles had been painted with colors. This was an attractive decoration that wasn’t inferior to jewelry one bit.

Children were creating snowmen, the young were putting on new clothes and enjoying this rare vacation, while the elderly were out walking around, enjoying the rare warmth of sunlight during winter.

Compared to the celebrations of other countries, perhaps the overall organization and material resources available were poorer. However, judging from everyone’s smiles, they were truly smiling from their hearts. After all, East Mist hadn’t had a reason to celebrate for far too long.

All the diplomats from various countries had arrived as per their invitations. Although their main goal was the private military weapon trading to be done later, they didn’t mind enjoying this rare Northlands celebration either. The number of people arriving from the future countries that would join the Mist Alliance was the most numerous. Not only did they have official envoy groups, there were also plenty civilian merchant groups and tourists. Although this revived country wasn’t rich, there were plenty of potential opportunities and riches to be had.

“It’s the safety brand; why are you catching me!”

The gnome that was selling his products didn’t even get to finish his sentence when the soldiers immediately blocked him off.

“Last month, we received 329 complaints about your ‘safety brand,’ with an average of an astounding ten per day. Based on the new rules drafted by the Town Security, from this month onwards, all ‘safety brand’ sales are forbidden. You still dare to sell your products in public? Confiscate all his goods! Add a fine of 50 gold coins!”

Normally speaking, asking a gnome for money would be no different from asking for his life. Wanting a gnome to obediently pay up was definitely on the level of an Epic-ranked Quest. That gnome thought for only a moment before coming up with a devious idea.

“Misunderstanding, it’s all a misunderstanding. Please take a look, this isn’t the safety brand. It’s written rather sloppily; you probably read it wrong. This clearly says ‘public safety!’ Yeah, I accidentally shouted it wrong just earlier, but saying it wrong isn’t illegal.”

Alright then, he instantly changed to a new sign, but unfortunately for him, he wasn’t the first gnome to use this tactic, and the soldiers were already prepared to deal with this strategy.

“Alright then, we’ll charge you for selling fake products instead. Add a fine of 100 gold coins!”

The bystanders laughed out loud upon seeing this scene. I also nodded in satisfaction. The troubles of this new generation needed new laws and new ways to deal with them. It seemed that the newly drafted Town Security rules were quite useful, and the “The Guide to Hunt Gentlemen” that I had given to everyone had probably arrived as well.

“Hey, the weather’s so good today. Why do two guys like us have to tour the streets together?”

As I walked around and observed the surroundings, Adam, who was accompanying me, was filled with complaints. “If it’s just to tour the streets or observe things around here, you could invite any of your female companions, which would be much better than me. For two men to walk together like this, do you think that there are not enough rumors about us? Also, just what exactly are those ‘boy love’ books? Two men hugging each other? Those damned gnomes, they’ll sell anything to make money. Two days ago, I discovered that even Margaret is beginning to collect them. Even though she clearly knows it’s all made up, she actually secretly enjoys them so much.”

Hearing this, I was speechless as well. I could only look off into the distance and recall the past, which was filled with nothing but blood, sweat, and tears.

“About that, I already investigated it. Those gnomes didn’t actually make these books; they’re only the sellers. The origin is actually from those damned Town Security girly brats, and the main perpetrators include your precious little Margaret. Not only is she collecting them, she’s even one of the main artists. Back in Sulfur Mountain City, many of these types of books were her work as well. You don’t know even after all this time?”

Talking about this type of thing made me feel helpless as well, but when I saw how Adam’s face turned beet red upon hearing what I told him, learning that his dear Margaret collected doujinshis [1] 1 with himself as the main character, I felt a lot better.

“As expected. Rather than being frustrated by yourself, seeing someone more miserable than you are will uplift your mood. That saying is so true. As for why I invited you, if I really did just casually invite a female companion as you said, I’d meet with a huge disaster. You should know that my sense for causing disasters to myself is quite accurate.”

Adam, however, was looking at me with an expression of astonishment.

“Do you even need a sense for this? You can think of it even with your knee, not your brain, so can’t you just use your brains to think about something normal?”

Hearing him say that, I felt rather displeased. Now I knew what it felt like to experience the pot calling the kettle black. Adam was a musclehead with only 9 Intelligence, and he dared to call me dumb?

But before I could think up a method to obtain my revenge, a new situation appeared in front of us.

There was a large crowd of people and the sound of arguing. It appeared to be some sort of disagreement.

“Pay up, otherwise you’re not allowed to leave!”

A slightly hoodlum-ish young man was tugging on a female knight’s shirt, not allowing her to leave.

She had silver armor and a golden sword, as well as a nice face combined with a tall and beautiful figure. Under the sunshine, her blonde hair seemed to glimmer, and she attracted everyone’s attention as if she was the Sun God.

However, this heroic seeming female knight was in quite the difficult situation. She could only do her best to verbally defend herself under the other person’s accusations.

“I just thought that those undead were about to attack you, besides—”

She didn’t get to finish speaking before she was interrupted.

“What the hell are you talking about? Everyone in Diffindor knows about undead laborers by now. You destroyed the laborers I hired after working so hard to save money to afford them, so who’s going to help me around the house now? Don’t you dare try to run off. Either you pay for their costs, or you return back with me and work on behalf of my skeleton laborers.”

By the time he finished with that last sentence, the scummy look on his face betrayed what he was truly thinking, even if he was in the right.

“Or, do you intend on hitting people here? Or saying that it has nothing to do with you? Is there any law that says if you destroy someone else’s things you can even hit them afterwards?”

With everyone watching, the female knight was both embarrassed and enraged, but she didn’t know what to do. It wasn’t that she didn’t want to spend money to make her trouble go away, it was that she went out in a rush and forgot to take any money with her. And, with her status, she typically didn’t have to pay for things herself.

Today, she just coincidentally came out to have a look around, and saw an undead that seemed like it was about to attack that man, which caused her to instinctively take action. The moment she did so, she knew that she had made a mistake, but it was already too late. Now, she had been caught by the other party, and couldn’t think of any plans.

Judging by how the bystanders seemed to be looking in an unfriendly fashion at her emblem of Holy Light, the rumors that Holy Knights weren’t welcome here must have actually been true. This was the first time that she had ever been surrounded by so much unfriendliness in a human city.

Just as she was hesitating whether or not to stop caring about any consequences and break free from this crowd, a figure suddenly stood before her with a sunny smile that made her recall the First Knight Squadron’s ceremonial smiles. Only, this person made it seem even more natural and passionate. Also, the slight sign of Holy Light from that person’s sword scabbard was evidence of his identity—a young Holy Knight.

“The Holy Light is above us. My lady, do you need any assistance?”

Note:

1. According to Wikipedia, a dōjinshi (同人誌, often transliterated doujinshi) is the Japanese term for self-published works, usually magazines, manga or novels.